Description: this one i wrote lats night as i was crying myself to sleep because of yet again some more bad news my life gets worse and worse
please let me knw what you think
izzi xxx
When we were an item
i thought we could last
but ever since we split
thats in the past.
As you've got a girl
and i've got a guy
but still i can't help
but wonder why?!?!
Why did you leave me
why did you lie??
you told me you loved me and would never say goodbye.
You broke my heart into pieces
as it shattered on the floor
it was like been trapped in a little dark room
and not been able to find the door.
I can't belive you lied to me
told me you cared when you never
and like a fool i believed you
and thought we'd be together forever.
But we weren't...
This was very emotional and i can fill your pain. May sound weird but heartbreak can sometimes help people in the way that they learn from life. I've learned and i'm still learning and i have a feeling that you're learning also. Also you can write kick ass poems when bad things happen that's what i've noticed when the storm passes and i look back on the things i write. Much Luv and Support Danni
Very heartfelt, very emotional and very good. Your choice of words, structure and rhyming were excellent. This really was a very good piece of writing. Perhaps if you break the verses up, it would look more appealing and easier on the eye.
i like this poem i can feel ur anger and i understand ur pain. this is not the worst thing that can happen though. dont worry it will get better soon and i know its annoying to hear but its true. i think that u should consider changing the last line of this peom the rest of it is very powerful and i dont think that that line helps the poem to end strong.
Deep and words were well used are my words for this one... its kind of hard to come to a genre thats already filled and spilling but it was nice having this addition to it... I liked your use of words and rhymes beacuse it gave it a nice tone... overall I think you should try to move on beacuse he is already doing that if he's got another girl and you just cant stay around hoping... Nice Write and please keep writting
it's hard to walk down the avenue of 'love gone wrong' with an original step, but you had a good effort here. i liked the rhyming scheme and the length to it, not too long or too short. you have some grammatical errors, but that's about it. keep writing.
wow! sooooo deep i freaking loved this piece, loved the rhymes, loved the word used, love every lil bit of it, i started reading coudn't stop great job! wonderful!!! ive felt this before and yes i know how much it hurts. but it will get better i promise, great job, going into my faves! PERFECT!
Submission Name: broken!
my life gets worse and worse 
