Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

did that make him a rose?

Author: Sarah Leger
ASL Info:    15.f.kissimmee,Fl
Elite Ratio:    3.74 - 436 /387 /80
Words: 112
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 1089
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 834


um it's a religious piece if you can see it despite my Paganism...

did that make him a rose?

The sky is twirling
Vomit it up
only to swallow it down
jagged pill
rotting in the pit of her stomach
People crying
-because the angels are dying-
hide from mercy
feed the hungry
and they'll only be thirsty
repeating yourself
the magic is gone
your heart says so long
Crowned by the vines
did that make him a rose?
chained to the wall of your Hell
hidden by the dark
whipped by the Demons
Nailed down
Rusty wounds
standing high
Because you were torn down
and whisper

so she doesn't feel your pain

Submitted on 2005-09-19 16:18:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  True that. Yes its angry and sarcastic and still amazing. And I must admit each time I've read your work I haven't liked it... Til now that is. And I like the way it was set out, it reall suited this sort of poem. It feels like it's made up of two parts, the beginning feels separate from the end but the transition between is smooth and unnoticeable.
Good work
| Posted on 2005-09-26 00:00:00 | by dark-red-pain | [ Reply to This ]
  Jesus Cahurist. Gohosh. lol. i hart this. It seems angry. Yet meaningful...well...yes meaningful. lol. Not much to say. But umm i harted it hardkore. With a Q.

Fukk Love from Within
| Posted on 2005-09-19 00:00:00 | by Thinkingofyou | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?