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    dots Submission Name: The Noise Part twodots

    Author: josymanthegreat
    ASL Info:    21/m/GA from Puerto Rico
    Elite Ratio:    4.73 - 337/364/104
    Words: 76
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 916
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 480

       The second installment in "The noise series" you have to read the first one to be able to grasp this one... please read the first before this one and then comment on whichever one you end up in... thanks in advance

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Noise Part twodots

    The noise rang in my ears,
    down my spine sending chills,
    tick-tock tick-tock tick,
    and the clock yet again rings

    I look at it again now,
    in just a few minutes the new hour comes,
    thinking more and more,
    the noise yet again comes

    Starting to panic and being taken over,
    paranoia setting in and cracking me open,
    now pacing around the room,
    the noise leading to my doom.

    Submitted on 2005-09-19 18:20:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      lol I actually said "uh-oh" at the end. The line "paranoia setting in and cracking me open" i think might be my favorite. I like how youve been describing the time and the way it just seems to slip by. Creepy and excellent

    | Posted on 2005-10-04 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      geez o geez! i wanna know what the fucKing sound is! DAMMIT! lol! this one made me gasp twice! WOOOO! go Josy! WEEEE!

    | Posted on 2005-09-22 00:00:00 | by Suicidalchild51 | [ Reply to This ]
      This part 2 is very good as well. It picks up right where you left off in the first part and begins to develop the story a bit further yet still holding onto the readers curiosity making them want to read the next part. I like your description of pacing around the room. It is a great way to describe the paranoid feeling you speak of which is always great to elaborate on a feeling so the reader gets the full effect of the write! No issues with form in this one as it looks and reads nice! Very well done and anxious to continue on to the next part! Take care!

    | Posted on 2005-09-22 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      I love that you make the niose something that seems to poke at your sanity...it drives you mad and the pacing is a good visual of that...I like this one as well as the first and I think that you tie them in nicely.

    Peace Love and Empathy

    | Posted on 2005-09-21 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      wtf jOsy. Where is the rest this is why I hate series. God! Your just making it up as you go arent you.. I bet you dont even know what the noise is do you??? I bet you dont, and if you do prove it... what is it???
    | Posted on 2005-09-20 00:00:00 | by Drea | [ Reply to This ]
      i wanna kno what the noise is! gawd...u have me like on end hun i wanna kno more . give more more more. i still like the mysteriousness to it...<3
    | Posted on 2005-09-19 00:00:00 | by lil_gh0st_girl | [ Reply to This ]

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