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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Follow Me...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BrokenAngel
    ASL Info:    19/F/MI
    Elite Ratio:    3.91 - 178/156/47
    Words: 169
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Dark
    Total Views: 279
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1084



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFollow Me...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Follow me into the night
    whilst time alone rules light
    I dance within my shadow realm
    twisting through the oak and elm

    Dance away with me tonight
    forget your fears, just take flight
    just forget about tomorrow
    it will only lead to sorrow

    Singing out my pain filled song
    I’ve been alone for much too long
    Come and ease my loneliness
    Please forget all the rest

    Come dance away with me tonight
    Fall away from the light
    dance inside this shadowed realm
    Fall beneath the oak and elm

    Twirling to the mindless song
    forgetting what’s right and wrong
    you begin to see the change in me
    am I what you’d thought I’d be?

    My tears you see fall to the ground
    you see me cry without a sound
    I only want to live again
    instead of being in this glen

    Walk away with me tonight
    Forget about those in the light
    Dance inside this shadow realm
    Die between the oak and elm




    Submitted on 2005-09-20 20:37:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      hmm my only real suggestion would be to use punctuation so it will flow a bit better and work out some minor grammatical errors. other than that, its pretty solid.

    take care
    X

    p.s. if you like darkness, you should see some of my works..
    | Posted on 2006-04-27 00:00:00 | by xeternalshadowx | [ Reply to This ]
      i loved the rhyming! i also agree u have this style of writing that ive never read before! its rather interesting so imma read more of ur stuff! i really like it!
    ~akaila evonne~
    | Posted on 2005-09-21 00:00:00 | by iluvpoetry_1 | [ Reply to This ]
      Very interesting.
    The rhyme seamed forced in some stanzas. But it envoked my interest. I would like to read more from you.

    illusions
    | Posted on 2005-09-20 00:00:00 | by illusions35904 | [ Reply to This ]
      I enjoyed this piece and it held my interest although the meter seemed to skip here and there, but a joy to read.

    Crackwalker
    | Posted on 2005-09-20 00:00:00 | by Crackwalker | [ Reply to This ]



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