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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: walking awaydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: smlaw
    ASL Info:    18/m/ny
    Elite Ratio:    4.48 - 56/37/10
    Words: 210
    Class/Type: Poetry/Friendship
    Total Views: 753
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1403



    Description:
       something i need to get out, about something that happened recently.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotswalking awaydots
    -------------------------------------------


    you call me crying,
    (not unlike any of the times before)
    and expect me to make all the pain go away,
    but not this time
    no more
    i just can't do it.

    you cry harder,
    i try to make you think; re-evaluate.
    but all you do is say:
    "you're right"

    how can i help you if you won't think for yourself?
    you say it everytime,
    but nothing changes
    because you can't change
    because you won't change.
    you say you want my advice
    but do you take it?!
    no
    it's just like every other time.

    you're miserable,
    i know it.

    i tell you to try and get some help
    you refuse
    you won't consider
    but you admit theres a problem,
    but why won't you do anything about it?!

    you drag me down from my highs
    so i can feel your lows
    and i just can't do that for you
    not anymore
    never again.

    i've said it before, but it never lasts
    but i can't turn back to it again
    if i do i'd be drowning myself in your misery.
    i have to walk away...for good.

    so thats what its come to...
    i just have to walk away...
    and i can't look back...
    i'm sorry...




    Submitted on 2005-09-21 23:53:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This reminds me of a lot of things. People who've told things. People I've had to beat things into. I really like the loose feel to this, and the way it tells your story. Work on your mechanics a little, but other than that, well done.
    | Posted on 2005-10-26 00:00:00 | by Zabriel | [ Reply to This ]
      wow, this is good, i've been here, and it's tough to walk away from someone you are like that with. it takes a long time to get over and deal with, but it'll be ok, it'll work out. you can't let yourself be a doormat, it just doesn't work. great write, i really enjoyed this.

    jennifer
    | Posted on 2005-10-25 00:00:00 | by _winky_ | [ Reply to This ]
      This is very well written and expresses your inner most feelings and frustrations very well. Friendships are hard and like romance, they take work. And not just one sided work but effort from both people, It gets so frustrating when you see one of your friends hurting and you try to help but over and over again they continue with the same problems and never really listen to your advice. You are right in saying that it brings you down. This person is being selfish, too consumed in their own life that they cant see how this upsets you. I commend you for standing up to this and not letting it continue to happen. Sometimes this is what it takes to make someone realize what they are doing. You really allow the reader to feel your feelings within your words. This is a very good write. Take care!

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-10-25 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      Very well written. The pain of someone you care about dragging you down, is almost as bad as them stomping all over you. It's great that you've come to terms, and learned to walk away. When you let someone bring you down, you're cheating yourself out of the chance to feel good. You said it very well in this piece!
    | Posted on 2005-10-06 00:00:00 | by miss__smiles | [ Reply to This ]
      OK...I just commented about how one of your other pieces needed depth, this is what I was talking about! It's so hard to be there for someone time after time when they just don't want to help themselves. You can only bear so much weight on your shoulders and it's good to see that you need to hand this person their cross back and let them bear it themself. It's not an easy thing to do and you showed that battle with yourself pretty well. I'm glad that you came to the realization that though you feel bad and want to be there, you do need to take care of yourself and get out of the rut that this person brings you into. This is a very difficult but important lesson to learn! I think just about anyone can relate to how you feel in this piece. Great job!
    Candi
    | Posted on 2005-10-06 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]
      this is sad.. it reminds me of how i used to be. i was a pathetic soul... and my friends eventually gave up on me but it made me realize i needed to be a little stronger and now im happy with who i am, and ive got great friends, and i hate that it took people giving up on me to realize i shouldnt give up on myself but it worked out ok.. anyways the poem was good.
    | Posted on 2005-09-29 00:00:00 | by EEKS | [ Reply to This ]
      wow...that is deep. I dont know if I am getting the right message here but the message is that I am getting is...although its your friend and you want to help sometimes the best thing you can do for them is just walk away. I know how it is when someone wants your help or has a problem but doesn't try to solve it. I liked this its going on my fav. list.
    | Posted on 2005-09-28 00:00:00 | by ReiLuna | [ Reply to This ]
      I enjoyed this piece for 2 reasons..

    The first reason being that it's something, that without the description, you could tell actually happened. It wasn't camoflauged per say, by the prosthetic thoughts that are so commonly used on this website and others abroad. It was something created with simplicity at mind, but yet wanting to reach deeper.

    The second reason was the mere question and answer and process behind the whole piece. I enjoyed that, as questions keep the readers thinking. On that note, if some of the questions wouldn't have been answered,and just left for pondering, then this piece would have been even better..

    The more thought that you leave open, the better connection the reader will have to the author, although it is very hard to leave questions unanswered and still keep the same thought throughout the whole poem..

    Nice work, keep writing
    | Posted on 2005-09-22 00:00:00 | by daniel05 | [ Reply to This ]
      I loved this one because it told a story of mine! I had the same exact problem with a friend of mine. We were friends for about ten years, but finally I just had to let her go. I realized that having her as a friend was stressing me out so much, I was always on edge and angry, even when she wasn't around, because I would be thinking about the stupid things she was out doing and I knew she would come running to me when she regretted them! It is so frustrating! I do miss her, but it was something I had to do and I have so much less stress in my life now! Great write, and I can't wait to read more!
    Alissa
    | Posted on 2005-09-22 00:00:00 | by Geraldine | [ Reply to This ]


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