Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Life In A More Musical Tonedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Skeletor
    ASL Info:    20/M/Lancaster, CA
    Elite Ratio:    4.83 - 25/11/6
    Words: 499
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 191
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 3349



    Description:
       The two most important things in my life are writing and music. In this piece, I just want to demonstrate exactly how life would be if it was simply a series of pitches and tones, harmonics and beats...the most beautiful and tragic song ever written. I hope I captured some of it...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLife In A More Musical Tonedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Defined between two and four minutes...

    Starting out slowly, just the high hats beating their silvery slashes across the airwaves, life starts...beating slowly as the lungs contract and breathe their first gulp of air into the world...being born...

    Then the strings begin...no, not the small, thin ones, but the bass....deep and resounding...my presence is felt in the lives of everyone surrounding me...I make my noise known, and I am loved for it...

    Personality developing, as the guitar makes its cue, and the spider-webbed strings begin their light lil' tune, playing a slow melody, a little bit of joy etched into it, as my life from a toddler grows, and elementary years are passed by, as the elementary verse starts (slow eroticness) and ends as puberty makes its awakening...

    CHORUS

    Growing up through the puberty, bodies changing, as the first of a hard part of life strikes in, as the hard chorus, riveting through your muscles and veins, makin your head bob and your knees wobble...the struggle ensues...

    Then, a short breakdown, as puberty decreases in it’s rate...and the music slows, and flys into the next verse...the words a little harsher, the meaning more outspoken, when one knows what’s gonig on in his life and knows his future plans...or at least general ideas have formed...as one has a vague idea of the point and meaning of a song...though...certain parts are always deceiving...

    CHORUS

    It blasts it’s way into life, adulthood, age 21, bringing nothing but work and bills and such, but there is the freedom that lies there, the fucking pure freedom of making your own choices and own deadlines and such, the chorus just swells on, by now making you forget everything horrible through your life...you're past it...you are YOU...

    The breakdown begins again, but now into a larger ascent...climbing it’s way into the climax, the words building, you can feel passion shrieking in thousands of directions as life continues, your marriage, your children, the joys and heartbreaks as they grow up (oh so fast) and then leave you to pursue personal dreams...it’s building...

    THEN IT FUCKIN STRIKES, IT HITS YOU, DEMANDING WHAT THE HELL YOU ARE DOING!? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH YOUR LIFE? WHY ARE YOU STILL AT HOME, GOING TO THE SAME JOB, FUCKING THE SAME WIFE, WHAT DO YOU REALLY HAVE NOW THAT NO ONE ELSE DOES!?! (it’s screaming into you, your head smashing into your fist over and over as the music swirls and bounces off of your eardrums, swallowing you up in it’s fuckin power...the pure, exquisite rawness) NOTHING AT ALL!!! NO DREAMS NO GOALS YOU ARE FUCKED!!! WORTHLESS!!! FUCKING WORTHLESS!!!!

    ...and then it slows...the finish...deathbed fantasies...you see your significant other wilt away into the ground, nothing left but yourself...and then...it’s all over...floating into oblivion...as the strings slowly stop vibrating...the beats stop coming...the air stops humming...you’re finally in the ground...




    Submitted on 2005-09-22 03:04:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      What the...?Dude what was going through your mind when you wrote this. i dont know what to make of it. I was kinda wondering why no one commented on it but they were probably too confused. You need to straighten this out because it was way too unclear (not that I dont know what a high hat is; I do) but your format did'nt really work with the piece and I think your message got lost in translation. Sorry to disappoint you man but I think there's room for improvement in all of us.

    Sorries,
    Jermaine
    | Posted on 2005-09-22 00:00:00 | by Flowerinbloom | [ Reply to This ]



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry
    This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.