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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Harvest Moondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: brokenroses
    ASL Info:    17/m/indiana
    Elite Ratio:    3.93 - 191/192/62
    Words: 87
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 1082
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 618



    Description:
       went on a road trip today and smelled the beautiful, sweet smell of harvest.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Harvest Moondots
    -------------------------------------------


    Brown paper shreds,
    Sway in the wind.
    The smell of dry death,
    Hangs on each breath.
    The promise of this year,
    So sweet to them now,
    The worry of what might,
    Always at mind.

    The sick sweet smell,
    Of beautiful destruction.
    The end of a life,
    The support of another.
    Sweet dusty joy,
    Sad broken life.

    The harvest moon,
    Hath shown its face.
    The time has come,
    Seize the day.
    The once live field,
    Now desolate dead.
    The once green crop,
    Now brown paper shreds.




    Submitted on 2005-09-22 21:19:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      good poem, but it ended abruptly. well use of word play in it though. i enjoyed.
    | Posted on 2005-12-04 00:00:00 | by siroez | [ Reply to This ]
      The sick sweet smell,
    Of beautiful destruction... these lines really pulled the reader into the transiton from life into death... it was amazingly detailed and left incredible amounts of emotion dripping from your words.

    I always loved autumn mainly becasue of the crisp clean smell of the air and like you said the evidence of what seems to be the death of life really intruiges me... does that make me crazy? maybe I just worded that wrong! Either way this poem about natures transition into wintery gloom was very well written and is certainly now a personal favorite!

    Ella
    | Posted on 2005-10-16 00:00:00 | by stormyskye | [ Reply to This ]
      I definately agree with wewak on this one. Lots of imagery here. Only through death comes new life. My favorite lines:

    The sick sweet smell,
    Of beautiful destruction.
    The end of a life,
    The support of another.
    Sweet dusty joy,
    Sad broken life.

    Just beautiful.
    Carol
    | Posted on 2005-09-23 00:00:00 | by wannabe1 | [ Reply to This ]
      I love harvest time... I live in Kentucky and a fairly rural part of it at that which means that there's a lot of harvesting going on around here. Its a very beautiful time of the year and the harvest moon... thats the most beautiful thing in the world... a full, blood red moon on a nice cool breezy night...

    I love this piece.
    -Alli
    | Posted on 2005-09-23 00:00:00 | by Childoutspoken | [ Reply to This ]
      I really feel that, to make this poem more interesting, you should drop most of the commas (unless it's actually needed [ie: so sweet to them now, the worry of what might always at mind]). The lack of moderate punctuation and line variation makes the poem feel monotonal and barren (although the wordage itself is not bad).

    I like this poem. I want to see it in a better form! (That's not a demand. But still!)

    G'luck.
    | Posted on 2005-09-22 00:00:00 | by Shuurinakisame | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this and you just filled the harvest time with a dark yet beautiful picture. A good read ma friend.

    The meaning behind it was cool...how farmers kind of just pray for death in a way. They grow and nurture something just to wipe the fields away and give it to us...the consumers.

    The end of a life,
    The support of another

    Excellent. Have a good one and keep smilin'
    | Posted on 2005-09-22 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      What an excellent description of harvest time! I applaud you for writing such an image-evoking piece,
    I think you covered everything necessary.

    Truly wonderful, can't think of a thing I would change.

    Be Happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-09-22 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]


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