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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Black Plaguedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: withblindedeyez
    ASL Info:    19/m/nc
    Elite Ratio:    2.57 - 83/121/58
    Words: 126
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 188
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 706



    Description:
       You can say anything you want about it.


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    dotsBlack Plaguedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I feel something inside twist and move
    When I heard 3 words come from you
    I can feel you crawl inside making your way through
    You always had a way to make me burn alive inside.

    You flow with my blood through my veins
    My skin bubbles up colored black and blue
    After all, you my heart was just a game to you
    Step in this room to be controlled by you and I
    Feel this cold chill run down my spine.

    Every word you say with black breath
    It’s like a black plague, that peels back my skin
    Exposing my veins, the ones you love to cut though
    Ripping open my ribcage so you can see what this
    Heart came to be.




    Submitted on 2005-09-22 21:46:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Over all very good. I also feel as though you left something out. Maybe you may think of some more to add to it. I also agree that this could be a megadeath song, (which I love megadeath actually I love the heavy metal the heavier the better) so that is a compliment! It appears that you are a good writer so I am looking forward to reading more of your work. Any how keep on writing! God Bless, Dawn
    | Posted on 2005-09-23 00:00:00 | by Dawnyd | [ Reply to This ]
      it feels like a megadeth song (thats a compliment) but there seems to be something missing. detailing is ok, maybe a little more emotion.
    | Posted on 2005-09-23 00:00:00 | by jassal | [ Reply to This ]
      that was good, but it could be better. you could go into more detail, mroe emotion. it feels to me like you held something back when you wrote this, but that's just my impression. otherwise, good work, keep it up. Moo!
    angela
    | Posted on 2005-09-22 00:00:00 | by m with two i_s | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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