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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Dreamdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: poet09
    Elite Ratio:    3.8 - 157/162/122
    Words: 216
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 1139
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1132



    Description:
       Give me your insight on what you think and how do this make you feel

    And give me your ALL around opinion


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDreamdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Dreams are for people who want to go far
    Dreams go farther than the farthest star

    Things that people want to come true dreams that I want to share with you

    At times I wish its just you and me but it never comes true

    I want to share things with you and just you and I spend are lives as one in paradise

    Hidden thoughts and goals that people spend their whole lives waiting for

    Die and fade away as they do for people who just give up and don't keep trying for what they want to persue

    They can go on forever as long as there is hope and determination your dream will live on even after you pass on

    Like a rose they are exceptionally beautiful but if not persued they just whither away with the wind

    Your dreams are just a future picture of you down the road

    The biggest dream of mine is for you to be by my side and be there to support me when I need you most

    Dreams are for people who want to go far
    My dream with you will take us with the stars




    Submitted on 2005-09-23 06:26:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Like a rose they are exceptionally beautiful but if not persued they just whither away with the wind
    Your dreams are just a future picture of you down the road
    The biggest dream of mine is for you to be by my side and be there to support me when I need you most
    these lines are awesome and have touched my heart. this poem is exceptionally inspiring and yes somewhere sometimes you have gone off the track but when it comes to the content of the poem it is simply superb...keep it up
    | Posted on 2005-09-23 00:00:00 | by poetofaustralia | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the thoughts behind this poem. Overall I thought that it was good. There were a few things that I thought may have worked just a little better. Dreams are things that people want to come true, these dreams that I want to share with you. At times I wish that it was just you and me, but that dream never comes true. I want to share these things with you and for you and I to spend our lives in paradise. Dreams are for people who want ot go far, my dream with you will take us to the stars. Just a thought of a few word changes, if you want. Overall I really love the poem. I thought that it had a lot of heart and soul to it. Great Job. Please don't feel that I was picking it a part, it was just a few things that popped into my head. God Bless, Dawn
    | Posted on 2005-09-23 00:00:00 | by Dawnyd | [ Reply to This ]
      its inspirational , i can give you that but you have to be careful with tense and spelling even in poetry e.g"I want to share things with you and just you and I spend ".not enough cohesion between thoughts also but otherwise its a nice read
    | Posted on 2005-09-23 00:00:00 | by tinashe | [ Reply to This ]


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