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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I Don't Belongdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Dawnyd
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 149/80/32
    Words: 166
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 896
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 920



    Description:
       I guess it is pretty self explanatory. Tell me what you think. It may not be real good, then again, I don't think that any of my stuff is very good. For me it is just a form of cheap therapy.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Don't Belongdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I need to get away from you
    I am not quite sure what to do
    Evil is truly what you are
    The pain you cause leaves a scar
    I pray for strength to get me through
    You make me so angry I sit and stew
    I do not understand why you're so greedy
    Never could I see you helping the needy
    So glad I was not raised by you
    I could only imagine the hell you would have put me through
    I try very hard to be a much better person
    As time goes on your actions only worsen
    I really thought that you had changed
    I realize now that you're exactly the same
    It is very sad that you think of only yourself
    With everything in the world going on you are very selfish
    All you do is brag and brag
    It is so damn sickening I begin to gag
    I guess it's time that I move along
    Because with you I do not belong




    Submitted on 2005-09-23 08:13:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      ummm well again another dagger
    it sounds as if your screaming at the person
    but who is this too ... - your father ?
    i dont know ../. well other then that keep on writing ../.

    bloodstone
    | Posted on 2009-08-04 00:00:00 | by Bloodstone | [ Reply to This ]
      you are trying to hard to make it rhyme it doesn't matter if you put a little free verse in it it might even make it a little better but if you keep writing it will get easier
    | Posted on 2005-09-27 00:00:00 | by inuyasha_s girl | [ Reply to This ]
      Ouch !. Quite different from your more recent stuff. Good write though. Maybe the rhyming was just a little too forced at times (bordering on clichés). But all in all, it was good and shows your versatility.
    | Posted on 2005-09-23 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey that was indeed a nice piece of work---loads of effort involved --i see or perhaps you've given a vent to your heart---anyways i like the tone and manner and it is absolutely fantastic---the rhyming gives the push to the poem which it deserves and makes it all the more interesting to read..keep it up.
    | Posted on 2005-09-23 00:00:00 | by poetofaustralia | [ Reply to This ]
      Good, I like it. I like the rhyming you put in it even though it is as you say "a form of cheap therapy".
    The only thing I'm not quite sure about is who is it directed to? A father, a boyfriend, somebody else? Its not really clear, just that you hate him.
    | Posted on 2005-09-23 00:00:00 | by Elissar | [ Reply to This ]


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