Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Ode to Judgmentdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: xeternalshadowx
    ASL Info:    17/m/pennsylvania
    Elite Ratio:    4.72 - 121/137/55
    Words: 243
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 987
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1634



    Description:
       SOBB + JD = hell on earth


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOde to Judgmentdots
    -------------------------------------------


    One million stars ago He fell,
    Foreclosed in a chamber
    Till Dawn's Razor falls deep and wide,
    Inside our Mother's city under the sea.
    From R'lyeh shall the prison walls ache,
    At the time that the Heavens are as one.
    Tis then that the Great Dreamer awakes,
    And the mouth of Yog-Sothoth shall open once more.

    [Dreams of life are virtues not taken astride,
    For the only blood refined is that of angels and demons.
    The cavities will in time be stretched open,
    And fear will be bred under oath,
    For dread is brought asunder
    From within evil, caught alone.
    Reality evanesces as the crease folds,
    The duality of blind eyes.
    The presence their tears hold
    Is no more than a stranger left behind.

    Feeble kin without control,
    They are the voices that are never heard.
    Death to their desire,
    The end rides tonight,
    For they witness the ascension;
    Without heart,
    Without mercy,
    While He bids Himself to rise
    And His name shakes the Earth and Heavens.]

    The cries of Babylon are martyrs in their selves,
    And indeed the waves washing upon the shore
    Are His every breath, bellow, and thought.
    The stars above are clockwork,
    Gears turning with every shimmer and shine,
    And the hour hand shifting with the horizon
    Until one day that the stars are right.
    It is this time, this time,
    That His call of judgment is answered
    Inside a circle of sand and blood.




    Submitted on 2005-09-24 18:46:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Definitly and interesting poem. It flows with contempt, anger and perhaps a little justification. I like the style that this was written in, it seems to me that it is in an "inbetween" style.

    Dreams of life are virtues not taken astride,
    For the only blood refined is that of angels and demons.
    The cavities will in time be stretched open,
    And fear will be bred under oath,
    For dread is brought asunder
    From within evil, caught alone.
    Reality evanesces as the crease folds,
    The duality of blind eyes.
    The presence their tears hold
    Is no more than a stranger left behind.

    This is my favorite part of the poem. This is the part of the poem that speaks out the most to me. It's nice reading something by you again. Keep writing and Ciao.
    | Posted on 2005-10-21 00:00:00 | by BrokenAngel | [ Reply to This ]
      H. P. Lovecraft fan, eh? Never really read any of his stuff, but I've heard it's pretty good stuff.

    I like the style in which this poem is written; I've never read any of Lovecraft's stuff so I don't really understand some of what you are talking about, and I can easily see how some of it could be interpreted in the biblical sense, but seeing as how you allude to Yog-Sothoth ("The Key and the Gate", a god with boundless power, but trapped inside of the universe we inhabit, my sources tell me..) it appears you are not referring to the bible at all.

    I think my confusion spawns from my ignorance of Lovecraft's Cthulhu Mythos and it's fictional reality...

    Like I said, however, I did enjoy the style in which it was written! Perhaps you could write something simalarly stylized but not so dependant upon a particular work of fiction? I think that may be a bit more well-recieved, but perhaps I am just out of a loop here or something..

    ~Jared
    | Posted on 2005-09-24 00:00:00 | by Jared | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    75431

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry