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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Pastdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: miss__smiles
    ASL Info:    16/f/Soo, Ont
    Elite Ratio:    3.28 - 117/110/20
    Words: 118
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 935
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 753



    Description:
       All about loving someone from your past, and not knowing what to do....Enjoy!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Pastdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The Past:

    I can't give up on the past
    It's what makes me smile
    While you regret our love
    I thought it was worth while.

    You know I still love you
    I know you don't love me
    But I still hope that with time
    You'll realize what you can't see.

    So I sit here writing
    These minor significant words
    Hoping that you'll read them
    And my feelings will be heard.

    I hate the way I feel
    How deeply in love with you I am
    I try to get over you every day
    But I can't.

    I think of our past
    Everything we had
    I let you slip away
    Now I'm the invisible man.




    Submitted on 2005-09-24 21:00:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Good things in our past, true love always does make me smile...this is what I thought about as I read your work.
    Excellent wording, with meaning sent across clearly.
    We all go though this pretty much, I am right now and just yesterday had another reason to smile, she went me a card saying she missed me...loved me...time seems to make things clearer, maybe this person you write of too...in time...will see, it is clear you love them.
    ~Alan
    | Posted on 2005-09-27 00:00:00 | by MidnghtScorpion | [ Reply to This ]
      This is similar to what I'm going through with my ex. I mean I don't love him anymore or anything I just still care about him as a person and friend and for the longest time we didn't talk and it started to bug me a lot. I thought back on the things we did and went through and wondered if they still meant anything to him. So I can pretty much relate to this. I wrote about my situation too. Its called "Things I've Left Unsaid". So you can check that our if you would like too. Anyways nicely done!

    Brenna
    | Posted on 2005-09-25 00:00:00 | by Day DreaMeR | [ Reply to This ]
      i really enjoyed this poem and the story it tells. it is a good piece of work and it has the potential to get even better. one thing that bothered me was the structure of the poem. the first two stanza's follow a very structured rhyme scheme, and then you suddenly drop it. i don't know if this was on purpose or if the first two just had that set up by chance. other than that though i thought it was very good, and told the story extremely well.

    ~smlaw
    | Posted on 2005-09-25 00:00:00 | by smlaw | [ Reply to This ]
      hi this a good poem. I really do feel the same way at the moment and I can relate to this poem. while I was reading it, I thought this poem was telling my story. So I love this poem it has a lot of emotions in it.

    You know I still love you
    I know you don't love me
    But I still hope that with time
    You'll realize what you can't see.

    So I sit here writing
    These minor significant words
    Hoping that you'll read them
    And my feelings will be heard

    I love this part.
    With love shabnam
    | Posted on 2005-09-25 00:00:00 | by shabnam | [ Reply to This ]
      This is actually how loads of people feel. I myself have been here a million times but after a little while i realise that i may not have actually loved that person as much as i thought i did at the time but the person was actually completely wrong for me, of course, i'm not saying this is exactly your case and he/she might be perfect for you. But hopefully he'll/she'll come to their senses and see what a great person you are and what they've been missing.

    One thing though that i'd like to point out to you. The verse:

    "I can't give up on the past
    It's what makes me smile
    While you regret out love
    I thought it was worth while."

    has one little mistake in it.

    "While you regret out love" should be "While you regret ou"r" love" You missed the R. Sorry to be specific.

    But this is great! keep it up!
    | Posted on 2005-09-25 00:00:00 | by ChaosSubmission | [ Reply to This ]
      yea. i know how you feel. im in the same boat. im going through the exact same thing right now. it hurts, i know, but i know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. this isnt my first pass through. i know this road well. keep your chin up.
    | Posted on 2005-09-24 00:00:00 | by brokenroses | [ Reply to This ]


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