Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A chapter lost in the seadots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: wordsofmind
    ASL Info:    18/F/Quebec, Canada
    Elite Ratio:    5.44 - 178/180/57
    Words: 311
    Class/Type: Story/Serious
    Total Views: 262
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1759



    Description:
       Inspired by Milan Kundera's The Book of Laughter and Forgetting.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA chapter lost in the seadots
    -------------------------------------------


    When Tamina drowned, her body fell into an abyss, but her soul ascended. Her body met a dark end, her soul a bright beginning. Sea creatures devoured her body and then what was left of it, it deteriorated. Yet her soul was met by laughing angels who took it to the golden gates of Heaven. Their laughter was not mocking or deceptive. It was that kind of laughter that was not produced by humor, but came genuinely from the core. It was that kind of laughter that was welcoming, friendly, and inviting.
    Since the day her husband passed away, she had sworn to remember his face, his body, and his voice exactly as they were. She had sworn to remember their trips, their conversations, and their lovemakings in precise accuracy. Yet the more she tried, the less she remembered. The less she remembered, the more her memories became fragmental recollections. Soon enough, they faded. Forever they faded away.
    The day she had forgotten all of the memories she and her husband had shared and the way he felt was the day when she was in great confusion, despair, and anger. She was confused because she did not know how and why whoever or whatever stole her precious reminiscences. She was desperate because she wanted and needed her memories to survive throughout her lonely existence. And she felt angry with herself for not being on guard when whoever or whatever grasped all that was left of her husband. The day she had forgotten was also the day she had decided to seek for a better place both physically and spiritually.
    It took her a long duration and an immense risk that was her mortal life, but she finally found it. She finally found it and she is joyous, calm, gratified, and liberated in her paradise of laughter and forgetting.




    Submitted on 2005-09-25 00:54:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I liked this alot, Nadia. I most certainly will have to check out Kundera's book.

    A past that haunts is one that is better off forgotten. This was wonderful to read, and easy to connect with. I think it would have read a little easier if the paragraphs were indented, and some of the diction slightly tweaked, but I will not bother with specifics because they are only my personal preference.

    I enjoyed feeling what Tamina felt throughout this short story, and found myself already truly caring about her written fate early in the piece. It is wonderful that you were able to create a story that is so short and dense, yet easy to read. Excellent job. My only critique that I feel is of actual value would be to suggest the removal of the quote at the end. I didn't find it applicable enough to the story, and I think it detracted greatly for me. I would have much rather left on "...liberated in her paradise of laughter and forgetting." than the David Lynch quote. I think that last line is very impacting, and then the quote just kinds of takes the impact away, if you know what I mean. I look forward to reading some more of your stuff!

    ~Jared
    | Posted on 2005-09-25 00:00:00 | by Jared | [ Reply to This ]



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry
    This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.