Description: Just a display of the true power of the game of love and how it can be turned around so fast because the person you love hurts you so much that from then on you just want to get rid of your pain by inflicting it and everything they do you are numb to now so you enjoy the time you get in the game till they realize what your plan is and when they figure it its too late to get out... its a masterpiece... (just a writting)
Against You -------------------------------------------
Hahaha thought you had won?
hahaha thought you had prevailed?
but I got news this is my world
and what you've done you'll dearly pay
Thought you could get away with it?
Thought you wouldnt feel the pain?
Now I stand in front of you
Smirking and laughing right in your face
You seriously were happy were'nt you?
Just beacuse in the game you were ahead
Guess what? I've caught up to you
and from this it'll never be the same
You take one step
and I take two
You try to run
with what you took
But it's not that way anymore
You are locked in the cage
Its been fun to play against you
but I'm tired of this game
So just give it back
make it easy on you
wouldn't want me
to trample over you
Just like you've
trampled on my heart
suffer now the turn is yours
I can feel your anger my friend its a tragedy when you put your heart out there and its on the chopping block. and you have someone lead you on never once saying please stop but letting you go on thinking you are ok and everything will be ok. i feel your pain. love hands a person broken glass to swallow. thats what this work does for me. well done,
((there are a few things i had to take out way too harsh im sorry))
Ooooh! This is such a bitter and angry, spiteful poem! I think it is quite a message spoken here and I must say I know the feeling. There is nothing worse than being hurt by someone you thought cared about you and yes, sometimes revenge is quite sweet indeed! I think you express yourself well and definitely make your point with this poem! One spelling correction noted here, "because" in the second line of the third stanza, but otherwise grammar is fine. Hope this poem helped you feel better too cause I know that just merely expressing your feelings can make a big difference. Good write! Take care!
i semi-agree. i think poems such as this are better when you include more personal comments. something that is unique for your situation. because if you dont then its just words that have been said before with barely enough enthusiasm to even use an exclamation point.
here we go again with someone trying to express the pains and misfortunes of a love gone wrong in an original way. this piece is really surface to me, like you just said alot of cliché-ish things and we never really got to see your true thoughts and sufferings. some of the lines are really akward and disrupt any flow that you have going. it's a good effort and a really hard subject to venture down originally. keep writing.