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untitled


Author: manicsmuse
ASL Info:    28
Elite Ratio:    3.69 - 146 /161 /55
Words: 132
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 651
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 848



Description:




untitled



Rainbows

:
Bore me to tears
Flowers
Might as well smell like shit
Cause I ain't never got a rose
That wasn't a sorry
Or a get well soon
Or a let me fuck you bouqet
of wasted wilting empty promises
Butterflies
are real pretty
But I ain't never touched one
that wasn't in a net
You feel me yet?
Trees are really beautiful too
While I watch them burn in a pit of fire
That I started with a cute little lighter
That had butterflies, rainbows and trees
wraped around it.
Are you serious?
Fuck the beauty
The beast ate that bitch
In the story I project
I reject it all
The pretty things aren't for me
It is the hollow I will always be




Submitted on 2005-09-25 17:45:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  well, I'm German, so I don't know much about slang and double negations. it's the first time that I read it in a poem. but it fits quite well to the topic. still I think it needs to be "Butterflies / are REALLY pretty".
you've presented your hate or lack of emotion for the pretty things and the beauty in life, at least for the clichés that most people believe to be beauty. still it leaves me a bit unsatisfied. why?? why all this hate?? that's the question that is left unanswered. give me a reason and it can be a really good poem.
| Posted on 2005-09-26 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow, I don't know whether to laugh or not, cos it's so tragic it's almost funny (no disrespect)

I certainly enjoyed reading it, it's absolutely blackly hateful, and I love it!

Great job of putting emotions (or lack of 'em) down on paper.

be Happy

Graeme
| Posted on 2005-09-25 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]


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