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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: the illusion of the moondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: splifford
    Elite Ratio:    3.06 - 39/42/16
    Words: 110
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 285
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 759



    Description:
       it's plan to see the moon is spinning


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe illusion of the moondots
    -------------------------------------------


    she walked in to the room
    expecting me to ask about her day
    I knew right then
    it was the beginning of the end
    she said she
    doesn't like her job
    doesn't like her roommates
    doesn't like this city
    I said
    it's plain to see
    the moon's much further
    then it seems

    it's been two weeks
    now she's gone
    moved back home to her moms
    I'm sure we'll talk
    on the phone
    a couple more times
    I met a new girl at the grocery store
    she smiled at me
    I said
    it's plain to see
    the moon's not as big
    as it seems
    she said
    that's nice




    Submitted on 2005-09-25 21:47:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      ... I must say the moon is much bigger than what it seems like at night... lol sorry I didn't really get the second part of the poem because hey, Im jose I don't understand much... all i know is that you let go of someone and then picked up another girl at the super market which is leading me to thing that you are some sort of pimp or player and like every one knows... players and pimps end up alone and desolated... wow I got off topic... Good write and I enjoyed it Mr. Pimp

    Jose J. Ortiz aka Josyman
    | Posted on 2005-09-26 00:00:00 | by josymanthegreat | [ Reply to This ]
      I, too, didn't really understand this one too well. What part exactly did the moon have to play with in this piece? Is it a metaphorical piece? Either way, it's still nicely written... I almost found myself singing a tune with it. Didn't flow as easily as I thought it should-no biggie though. Keep up the good work.
    | Posted on 2005-09-25 00:00:00 | by AngelicDreamer | [ Reply to This ]
      ok i know im going to sound stupid but i dont realy get the parts where you talked about the moon. everything else was clear i just dont get the moon parts. other than that i liked this poem very well.

    ~Gena~
    | Posted on 2005-09-25 00:00:00 | by luvy | [ Reply to This ]



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