[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: False Truthsdots

    Author: uncreaTED
    Elite Ratio:    4.86 - 58/69/24
    Words: 74
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 887
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 896

       One doesn't need a mirror to see inward. Our conscience see past any blindfold.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFalse Truthsdots

    False Truths

    You're not the You,
         you hoped to be.
    Nor am I,
         and regrettably too.

    What you strive to be
         is not what you are.
    We're a melodrama of disappointment,
         don't you see.

    Actors improvising a script
         in a play nobody attends.
    Reality eludes us
         'til beyond the crypt.

    Heaven is traumatized
         by we irreverent gods,
    artfully condemning ourselves
         with all our lies.

    Submitted on 2005-09-26 00:09:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is a good poem! I like the way you express your feelings and views! And I always enjoy a thought provoking poem and this one is definitely one of those. I hesitate to disagree with you only because I can see your viewpoint and understand your perspective but I just have to disagree with you! I cant help it. I feel that I am what I want to be. I am happy and comfortable with me. I strive everyday to make my reality what I want it to be. That is how you find true happiness. Self acceptance is the first rule of thumb. I wanted to be successful so instead of wishing I had done something about it, I went to college and became an RN and now I am very successful and my job is very fulfulling to me. I wanted to be healthy and take care of my body so instead of wishing I had a fit body, I work out most everyday and eat healthy foods so that when I look in the mirror at myself I smile. I want to be the best person I can be to myself, and my family and friends and so that is what I am. I treat people as I would like to be treated and I value my loved ones everyday. I dont just sit around wishing things were different, I take action to make them what I want them to be. I honestly have no complaints about myself, and I hope that doesnt sound conceited because I am not. I just strive to be the best I can be and love the people in my life. I am happy and perhaps blessed to believe that there are no boundaries to goals and happiness except for yourself. Thanks for writing this one. I appreciate what it stands for and my comment here just made me feel good. Hope you are well! Take care!

    | Posted on 2005-10-17 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
    what a poem, and sad to say, it is true beyond anything else...anyone who says they are who they wished to be are only in denial...it's hard to get there..and if you have, then you've given something during the process...you can never be whole at the end of a dream...Me, I'm not who I've always wished to be, do I feel bad? Yes, but that's life...I'm taking an alternative route in hopes that I'll be close to that person...but wishes only weigh so much in reality.
    Ted I really like this poem b/c, well, though it is short, it's simple and it's true..that's all that counts...
    Ted, thanks-it's been a while...[sorry]
    later, 'til the next one
    | Posted on 2005-09-30 00:00:00 | by idlewriter | [ Reply to This ]

    I always like your shorter pieces, maybe it's because i have trouble concentrating for longer than a minute, particularly when someone's actively twisting it with a millefoil (french anyone?) of metaphor. The shorter ones while still metaphorical, carry more punch for me than confusion. (And if your writing can be criticised i'm sure you've been guilty of that for some of your readers)

    Now my thoughts on the poem: Well the title and picture are awesome. I love a good contradiction, and the piccy well it linked me to the theme of justice (surely intentional - no?), the blind scales etc.

    Is there any justice in a world held up by morals? Is that the big lie? I think God has got to be pretty lonely up in heaven myself - maybe one day he'll change the rules so he can have some company, cause those that believe in justice rarely believe in God, and those that believe in God are never very just.

    But y'know this is the human tragedy and at the same time it's why we keep on living. If i ever wake up and think 'Man, i can't believe i made it, i've finally reconciled myself in my own mind and am living up to my own ethical standards while achieving the goals and dreams i've set myself!' That day i go back to bed, or slack around until i've become the person i was striving not to be again. (not that it's likely)

    The most curious thing i get from this read is that i know you're a Buddhist, so what would Buddha say to this poem? I think he'd say something like: 'exactly right, the journey is what is important, not who is right or wrong, or whether we become who we seek to be.' I don't know, i never really studied Buddhism so i'm trying to fight above my weight here.

    All i know is that before i started ranting i didn't like the line:

    Reality eludes us

    I thought 'reality' didn't quite fit, but i get now.

    Always a pleasure

    | Posted on 2005-09-26 00:00:00 | by Abzy | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]