Mr. Bone and His Test by Dolor

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Submission Name: Mr. Bone and His Test dots

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Author:	Dolor
Elite Ratio:	4.49 - 62/83/49
Words:	62

Class/Type:	Poetry/Misc
Total Views:	284
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	425

Description:

Mr. Bone and His Test dots

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Success!
He had passed the test

Supply met demand
Surely well done
Bone's helping hand..
It made work fun!

Dawn of another day
A day of triumphant legacy
A day not even the sun could convey
The night; the moon shall be at ease

Knobs and switches
Shut down and secure
Safe from the witches
Used by the pure

Submitted on 2005-09-26 19:11:41 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
ok here it goes:

Supply met demand
Surely well done
Bone's helping hand..
It made work fun!

i liked this stanza the most... it gave a clear picture of what you are going through... tests... yeah they suck.. lol
but when you know you did well it feels really good

Dawn of another day
A day of triumphant legacy
A day not even the sun could convey
The night; the moon shall be at ease

ahh.. some days do seem perfect dont they? well... other days seem ... you know.. anyway i liked the use of words here... but legacy and ease didn't go well because they dont rhyme but not everything has to rhyme right?

Knobs and switches
Shut down and secure
Safe from the witches
Used by the pure

ok this part makes the poem take on a whole new form... im not quite sure how this relates to the rest of the poem but i liked it on its own though

then you ended it... it didn't really have an ending.. it's nice to you know, signal that this is it... the ending... and not leave the poem hanging.

anyway it was okay

keep on writing
kataclysmic
| Posted on 2005-09-26 00:00:00 | by kataclysmic | [ Reply to This ]

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