"Tell dad I'm going to town,"
she yells, as the door closed behind her.
No goodbye did I hear.
Not a hug saying she will be back for me.
"I love you" absent from her lips.
Bad feeling beginning to swell
in the small girlish body of nine.
Trembling I hear my dad,
clearing his boots
from his tired feet.
Smells of digested hay
from the barn filling the air.
Clinging to him like a cloud,
afraid to let it rain for it will dissipate.
Mixed with the cool fall breeze
making me want to heave
right there on the spot......
Heart pounding rapidly now,
ready to force its way out,
escaping into the cracks
of the unknown.
Knowing the painful eruption
I shall cause in my dads soul.
Standing there repeating her message,
eye to eye reading each others mind.
Not another word was said.
For we both knew she
departed from us forever.
Supper was especially silent.
No fighting between my four brothers,
or fussing from the baby of 18 months.
As dad helped me with dishes,
silently no words between us.
Both feeling abandoned
as tears crept into our eyes.
A big man looking so small
and helpless like a lost child.
Tears of deep sadness
and fear of the unknown.
Wondering how he was to raise
five kids and a baby close to two.
Farming was all he knew.
Feelings of hate and rage,
swelling in side my soul.
Wanting to make her pay
for what she has done
to make dad so forlorned.
Laying in bed not able to sleep,
tears escaping down my face.
Wondering what have I done,
to make mom leave us today.
Overcome by sleep,
I thought I heard sobbing
from my dads room.
|
Submission Name: Abandoned
