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    dots Submission Name: The Old Mandots

    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 205
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 691
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1229

       tell me what you think yo...

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    dotsThe Old Mandots

    there was a sadness to his eyes
    a certain weight in his gaze
    something magical about his smile
    something timeless in his age

    silver hair pulled back in a ponytail
    necklace draped around his neck
    a fine substance in his pipe
    that we would all come to suspect

    there was an ease in his walk
    stories from his mouth
    a whisper when he talked
    but still an audible sound

    with him was to be content
    freedom from desire
    let down all I had come to suspect
    he made me drunk from the heat of the fire

    I wished him to be happy
    he spoke and at first I didn't understand
    he said that was happy
    and he took me by the hand

    he sat down and played guitar
    told me to look for a friend in the moon
    and as I looked into the stars
    and listened to his tune

    he sang of the softness in the breeze
    the blanket from the grass
    the future in the trees
    and the old bark that spoke of the past

    he was weary
    he was wise
    there was a weight to his gaze
    and a certain sadness in his eyes

    Submitted on 2005-09-28 08:55:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      he sat down and played guitar
    told me to look for a friend in the moon
    and as I looked into the stars
    and listened to his tune

    I think this is great. Didn't you read it to me last weekend? I like the line about looking for a friend in the moon. Very cool. I love how you can tell a story with your peotry when all I can do is complain. Good job, sis!
    | Posted on 2005-09-29 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
      Yes I agree with the others. A very good write. Reminds me of my husband a few years ago. He had long silver hair back in a pony tail. He look so 60's. I liked it. Any ways Keep up the great writing. God bless.
    | Posted on 2005-09-28 00:00:00 | by Poetic Cure | [ Reply to This ]
      this was great i like the setting of the thought and the whole story behind it i wrote a poem Silver hair i am not sure wether you got a chance to read or not it also reminds me a little of myself wihout the ponytail but the silver hair and being able to write and sing
    once again great write
    | Posted on 2005-09-28 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      this was defenitly a well thought out poem and I really liked it, it kind of reminds me of one of those old country songs, you hear. I think that it has potential for some music behind it.
    | Posted on 2005-09-28 00:00:00 | by lost and alone | [ Reply to This ]

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