A very cogent and potent piece of poetry ... economically written ... the classic love triangle ... sad, but lovely ... despairing, but let's hope hopeful? ... over all effect is really quite fine ... I liked it muchly ! ... bravo ... bravo ... Michael
I really like how you were able to identify with this a very common situation. The indision and the fear of leaving, the delicate connection between love and commitment, lust and need. It is a battle that we all battle everyday....at least I do, I guess I can't speak for the rest of you. Great write, Thank you, Will (Twice) If you get a minute I could use some critiques I'm still a little green.
I suspect that you echo the sentiment of many many people in a relationship. but wanting desperately to be somewhere else or with someone else. A really good write - well done. The structure and flow was very good - you are talented so keep writing.
Great write! I don't think your rustly at all. I can really feel the emotion you put into this poem. It really paints a picture of someone staying with another because they think they have to, but loveing another. Kind of like a battle between the mind and heart. Not knowing which to listen to, not knowing what path to take. Everyday thinking you've made another mistake. Keep up the good work. Hope everythihng betters for you.
you're not rusty! Its great...I love the comparison, though maybe I am the only one to truly understand it...you are my mistress after all...:P You should really give yourself more credit, it was wonderfully done. :)
Submission Name: Insanity
