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untitled


Author: Drea
ASL Info:    18/f/nowhere
Elite Ratio:    3.79 - 289 /142 /53
Words: 122
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 962
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 705



Description:


I was going through a stage.


untitled



If anyone was to look
Deep inside my soul
I wonder what they'd find
Would it be a big black hole
Or would it be a gold mine
I cover myself in all black
To cover up whats inside
For I wish none to know
The pain and misery I undergo
I want no one to find
The pain and misery that lies inside
Not a living soul must define
The bad, shame, discrace, the h*** I face
So I present myself
as a blank wall and challenge you to make me truly happy
Not make me laugh or smile
But to make me feel happiness in my heart
But please hurry before
I completly fall apart.





Submitted on 2005-09-29 16:48:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  not bad, but with a little revision in structuralization, and the typos it could be even better. Has great emotion, but can be better. be well, take care, and [censored] the world
| Posted on 2006-03-22 00:00:00 | by dismentled | [ Reply to This ]
  interesting. could tell it was something personal and showed ALOT emotions so thats a plus.

The pain and misery I undergo

The pain and misery that lies inside

usually people tell me how you shouldn't repeat words twice. you should change it around and make more 'colorful' words. but i seem to like those two phrases here. made me think of it as a song and it could possitbly be a song. i cant persoanlly relate to it but i know alot of friends who could and it brings back those pathetic stories they use to tell me.

lovely.

-lado
| Posted on 2005-10-03 00:00:00 | by poeticblindness | [ Reply to This ]
  It was a good write. Pretty good flow. The subject was good. Real feelings of a young teenager. I hope you are happier now. Keep writing. It helps me to write, with my everyday feelings. THank you for sharing with us. God bless.
| Posted on 2005-09-29 00:00:00 | by Poetic Cure | [ Reply to This ]


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