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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: DEPTHS OF OURSELVESdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: disturbedx1000
    ASL Info:    21/m/ny
    Elite Ratio:    3.72 - 204/316/119
    Words: 159
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 221
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1067



    Description:
       jsu t coment


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDEPTHS OF OURSELVESdots
    -------------------------------------------


    come about as to face your fears,
    bring forth the despiration of your soul,

    shrouded in turmoil,
    the hearts of the others are consumed,

    waging wars of grief,
    the innocent quick to be the diseased,

    hiding the abundance of pain,
    living in infamy from the shadow's rage,

    prosecution and retribution,
    lead to the downfall of virtue,

    repentance not of the ways of your actions,
    but of how you should of created tranquility,

    the accused and the abuse falsely sentenced,
    life has no jury but a profound executioner,

    there is no one to look up to,
    no one higher than you to praise,

    instead of paradiSe and the pearly gates,
    we were given the closest things to hell,

    we are the demons that haunt one another,
    for we are the demonic souls within Lucifer,

    "nothing to fear but fear itself",
    man must fear man or so it should be written,




    Submitted on 2005-09-30 06:29:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This kept me reading to find out the end and i was feeling the pain the anger was good.
    I really liked how you ended it.
    Keep up the good work can't wait to read more from you.
    | Posted on 2005-10-02 00:00:00 | by suzanne | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice, was this the poem you were talking about? I like it, dark, brooding..true. I really like how you ended it,
    ""nothing to fear but fear itself",
    man must fear man or so it should be written,"
    That, was a very good touch to this piece, congrats. You're right I did like this
    ~Kat
    Ps~ Welcome Back!!
    | Posted on 2005-10-01 00:00:00 | by MorbidAngel114 | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree with the others on the fact that the quote and statement about the quote are phenomenal, but you sound like a little boy trying too hard to be dark and scary and deep in the beginning, it thins out once you reach about halfway through.
    It sounds to me like you're trying too hard, but you have a really good start here.

    Hopefully,
    Darin
    | Posted on 2005-09-30 00:00:00 | by bloodwing | [ Reply to This ]
      O.O Extremely nice and extremely deep. Also quite true once you think about it. (if one does not see it at first, that is.) The last line, so very true! Keep up the excelent writings!!
    | Posted on 2005-09-30 00:00:00 | by Archerion | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked it a lot...the entire thing from starting to end is really good...any particular favourite..well i guess probably the last two lines...keep writing!
    | Posted on 2005-09-30 00:00:00 | by jassal | [ Reply to This ]



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