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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Naturedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: poet09
    Elite Ratio:    3.8 - 157/162/122
    Words: 132
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 1055
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 859



    Description:
       Keepin' it real with me


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNaturedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Nature herself is exceptionally beautiful
    Like a rose that has just bloomed
    Birds flying on nice day

    Nature

    A newly wedded couple who found each other at last
    Peaceful and very protective of her well being
    A lioness protecting her cubs from danger

    Nature

    People who take care of those who are less fortunate than they
    Showing kindness to all people even there enemies
    A rainbow that's across the sky

    Nature

    Nature herself can be put to the ultimate test
    Natural disaters that she herself shows to peolpe and animals alike to show them to take care of her
    A summer breeze sweeping across the land

    Nature

    Is that all that's to her I will leave that up for you to decide>




    Submitted on 2005-09-30 06:35:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I love reading poetry about nature. Your content was generally good, but the structure and rhythm needs revision, and there are one or two spelling errors. I think also that some imagery would enhance this poem, and you could go further into the description of nature herself. However, it has potential to be a good poem, and I felt the ending was very thought provoking.

    "Is that all that's to her I will leave that up for you to decide>"

    This leaves the reader to conclude the poem themselves, which i feel is a good technique used.
    | Posted on 2005-10-02 00:00:00 | by Natalia Murray | [ Reply to This ]
      I like anything to do with nature. I felt your description was good, as it gave me an image in my mind and it flowed OK. I enjoyed reading it.
    | Posted on 2005-09-30 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      hmm...the diction and structure is rather elementary and it seems generally uncreative. i just feel like i've heard all this before. in the second line of the third stanza "there" should be "their". it just doesn't inspire me to appreciate nature, which was probably the idea behind it.
    something that might help, say what you want to say without actually saying it. keep working on it though.
    | Posted on 2005-09-30 00:00:00 | by Lunablue | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. Very nice. Quite thourough. Umm..I dont really know what else to say about it..except..well..what i just said, of course =P

    Continue good work.
    | Posted on 2005-09-30 00:00:00 | by Archerion | [ Reply to This ]


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