[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Naturedots

    Author: poet09
    Elite Ratio:    3.8 - 157/162/122
    Words: 132
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 1055
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 859

       Keepin' it real with me

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Nature herself is exceptionally beautiful
    Like a rose that has just bloomed
    Birds flying on nice day


    A newly wedded couple who found each other at last
    Peaceful and very protective of her well being
    A lioness protecting her cubs from danger


    People who take care of those who are less fortunate than they
    Showing kindness to all people even there enemies
    A rainbow that's across the sky


    Nature herself can be put to the ultimate test
    Natural disaters that she herself shows to peolpe and animals alike to show them to take care of her
    A summer breeze sweeping across the land


    Is that all that's to her I will leave that up for you to decide>

    Submitted on 2005-09-30 06:35:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I love reading poetry about nature. Your content was generally good, but the structure and rhythm needs revision, and there are one or two spelling errors. I think also that some imagery would enhance this poem, and you could go further into the description of nature herself. However, it has potential to be a good poem, and I felt the ending was very thought provoking.

    "Is that all that's to her I will leave that up for you to decide>"

    This leaves the reader to conclude the poem themselves, which i feel is a good technique used.
    | Posted on 2005-10-02 00:00:00 | by Natalia Murray | [ Reply to This ]
      I like anything to do with nature. I felt your description was good, as it gave me an image in my mind and it flowed OK. I enjoyed reading it.
    | Posted on 2005-09-30 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      hmm...the diction and structure is rather elementary and it seems generally uncreative. i just feel like i've heard all this before. in the second line of the third stanza "there" should be "their". it just doesn't inspire me to appreciate nature, which was probably the idea behind it.
    something that might help, say what you want to say without actually saying it. keep working on it though.
    | Posted on 2005-09-30 00:00:00 | by Lunablue | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. Very nice. Quite thourough. Umm..I dont really know what else to say about it..except..well..what i just said, of course =P

    Continue good work.
    | Posted on 2005-09-30 00:00:00 | by Archerion | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    prison written by ShyOne
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Love written by saartha
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    untitled written by ShyOne
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]