[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Naturedots

    Author: poet09
    Elite Ratio:    3.8 - 157/162/122
    Words: 132
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 1042
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 859

       Keepin' it real with me

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Nature herself is exceptionally beautiful
    Like a rose that has just bloomed
    Birds flying on nice day


    A newly wedded couple who found each other at last
    Peaceful and very protective of her well being
    A lioness protecting her cubs from danger


    People who take care of those who are less fortunate than they
    Showing kindness to all people even there enemies
    A rainbow that's across the sky


    Nature herself can be put to the ultimate test
    Natural disaters that she herself shows to peolpe and animals alike to show them to take care of her
    A summer breeze sweeping across the land


    Is that all that's to her I will leave that up for you to decide>

    Submitted on 2005-09-30 06:35:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I love reading poetry about nature. Your content was generally good, but the structure and rhythm needs revision, and there are one or two spelling errors. I think also that some imagery would enhance this poem, and you could go further into the description of nature herself. However, it has potential to be a good poem, and I felt the ending was very thought provoking.

    "Is that all that's to her I will leave that up for you to decide>"

    This leaves the reader to conclude the poem themselves, which i feel is a good technique used.
    | Posted on 2005-10-02 00:00:00 | by Natalia Murray | [ Reply to This ]
      I like anything to do with nature. I felt your description was good, as it gave me an image in my mind and it flowed OK. I enjoyed reading it.
    | Posted on 2005-09-30 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      hmm...the diction and structure is rather elementary and it seems generally uncreative. i just feel like i've heard all this before. in the second line of the third stanza "there" should be "their". it just doesn't inspire me to appreciate nature, which was probably the idea behind it.
    something that might help, say what you want to say without actually saying it. keep working on it though.
    | Posted on 2005-09-30 00:00:00 | by Lunablue | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. Very nice. Quite thourough. Umm..I dont really know what else to say about it..except..well..what i just said, of course =P

    Continue good work.
    | Posted on 2005-09-30 00:00:00 | by Archerion | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Live In Between written by teika5
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]