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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Music playing-foot tappingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: DeepsLighter
    ASL Info:    17/f/Brazil
    Elite Ratio:    7.89 - 97/62/14
    Words: 123
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 601
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 845



    Description:
       so..this is what im doing, listening to music and my foot is tapping..oh and i was thinkin of writing a poem, so this is what came out...just a ton of thoughts in my head, that really dont make sense, but give it a shot and try to understand...the one reference i think i should make is the flood, rainbow...it refers to Noah and the flood and the promise which is found in Genesis {6-8}..
    so hope u enjoy...


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    dotsMusic playing-foot tappingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Music playing
    foot tapping.
    Just to sit and think
    Just to think and sit.

    What's next?
    "Wonder if one day I'll just wake up
    and decide to explore the world...."

    What world is there to explore?
    That of evil and wickedness?
    Will there be another flood to destroy it all...
    "Of course not, there's the rainbow."

    Will the rainbow shine in this world?
    The world of sadness and sorrow?
    "Of course it will, there is more to the world
    then that of grief and misery."


    One day, the world will be explored.
    One day, the rainbow will shine.

    Just to think and sit
    Just to sit and think.
    foot tapping
    Music playing.




    Submitted on 2005-09-30 16:44:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Saweetness! I dig very much. Your use of biblical analogies were well done, and they didn't seem forced. I've always been partial do parallelism in poetry, so I liked the beginning and ending being the same. It wrapped things up nicely. Just don't overdo it, like I do sometimes. Bye!
    | Posted on 2005-10-13 00:00:00 | by Dipsomniac | [ Reply to This ]
      Deeps, I love the simplicity of this...the questions and the answers..it's wonderfully positive...
    Oh, the first and last stanze, great set-up..backwards and forwards and then there's the middle of it all-pondering of life...reality and more...nice touch...
    It's like a subconcious conversation w/ yourself, and you don't know you are doing it b/c you set yourself to just listen to music...nice job, deeps...yeah! another poem...this one, was grand..
    -stacey-
    | Posted on 2005-10-04 00:00:00 | by idlewriter | [ Reply to This ]
      I love this poem...it is such a "from big to little poem"...I love the way that you go from something small, and continual, (the details of life), to just wondering, "everything could change and I could be a revolutionary! exploring the world! completing my life!" and in the end you just go back to the tapping of your foot, because you must go back to the details of life, to get onto the extraordinaire. and in this moment you just might completely forget how life could be, becuase you end up going back to tapping your foot.
    I dont know if you got that or not...but anyways I found this to be one of the most poetical of your poems. Just becuase you are harnessing your thoughts, whether you think they are sensical or not, into words, and through that, the reader can connect with the writer. Connection is a part of what makes this good, another part is just how you word htings.
    YOu give off a drifting feel to everything through the way that you hop from thought to thought, wondering lonely as a cloud...seeing rainbows and satanic grins...I like it becuase either it is saying a lot or it is saying nothing at all, and both of those are quite clearly acceptable, because there is meaning in silence and in noise...
    Liked this write, liked hte way you connected first and last stanzas...sitting and thinking, ahhhh, that is truly the poets life.
    jc prescott
    | Posted on 2005-10-02 00:00:00 | by jcpdandalice | [ Reply to This ]
      I like it...as a matter-of-fact, some should take a deep look at what you are saying. I like the theme of music and tapping. Some might not like it, oh well! We should all have a positive outlook, and maybe this world will be a better place. take care, wanda
    | Posted on 2005-10-01 00:00:00 | by bigfineq | [ Reply to This ]


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