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With the troubled wind, there blows,
The wilted petals of a forgotten rose;
A mark of time, they start to crumble,
Their deadened stem no longer humble.
Reduced to dust and faded yellow,
They fall in the stream, calm and mellow.
Kissing the water, lucid and surreal,
Replenishing their dampness, but they’ll never heal.
A rose forgotten, a stem lamenting,
The hand that picked it, not repenting.
A tear-streaked face, a heart unsought,
The rose isn’t all, the world forgot.
| Oh, very sad, and very, very lovely... there is some fine meter here as well as some good rhyme thoughout ... heartfelt and poignant ... I liked it muchly ... bravo .... bravo ... bravo ... michael||| Posted on 2007-05-22 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ] || that was entirely amazing|
in all aspects and I wouldnt change a thing
brooding and delightful
contingent and exasperating
in other words
thanks again for commenting on darkening
|| Posted on 2007-05-22 00:00:00 | by mjstrees | [ Reply to This ] || Sad, very melodic, and very depressing. I agree with you, it is not only the rose that has been forgotten. That [censored]s hand that picked it never repenting. Love can leave us betrayed, staggered, and run off for only us to survive those fresh memories still inside of us, to drive us through the stormy seas of depression and lonliness that never seems to pass. Knowing this is off topic, I must vent. Drea, is a f ucking c unt, and shouldn't even have had the nerve to leave such a stupid message as he did, but what can you do, this world is fullfilled with its hypocrites, its idiots, and of course its rejects. And I talk this about Frozenflame, and kma12790. Useless people. Anyways back to your poem. Its also very disturbing to the human mind to believe and know that they have completely forgotten about you, but knowing deep down in that broken heart of yours, that you still are rekindling so much hurt because they have not been forgotten. I recently broken up with a gf that I have been for three years ago, so you can say as I read this poem, tears shortly after fell down my face, and my heat sunk. Once again, that long for a love is your backbone for your writes. As all of them depict an image of loss of something, that deals with that four letter word. love||| Posted on 2007-05-13 00:00:00 | by Crestfallenman | [ Reply to This ] || This is a very creative write taking the view of a rose into a different direction|
I really enjoyed reading this and this was written perfectly in rhymr form
I for one look at the seeds of the rose and see the very petals of the wind blown rose creating new life
Because to me
One never really dies
There soul and heart beat forever
|| Posted on 2006-01-03 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ] || This not only flows so beautfully, but it is enhanced with wonderful description and the content is very emphatic. Some of the adjectives used are pure magic, i particularly liked the line:|
"Kissing the water, lucid and surreal,"
This is immediately being added to my favourites! Thankyou for such a great poem.
|| Posted on 2005-10-02 00:00:00 | by Natalia Murray | [ Reply to This ] || The above comments say it all. It really was very good. Well constructed, well thought out, and well written. I love poetry relating to anything that involves nature. Writing about flowers is something I also like to do. Well done a very good write.||| Posted on 2005-10-01 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ] || So.. is it about someone picking a rose and the rose dying. Or is there like a deeper meaning that I didnt get??? |
|| Posted on 2005-10-01 00:00:00 | by Drea | [ Reply to This ] || well...um...i think i'm in the same boat as clea here. this poem is...incredible. it made me speechless. i don't know how to say it. other than this poem is an absolute amazing piece. an instant fave. thank you for posting this and thank you for sharing this with the world. GREAT JOB!||| Posted on 2005-10-01 00:00:00 | by frozenflame | [ Reply to This ] || beautiful. the readers attention is wove in and out of the lines in a simple, but immaculate fashion...understated passion, i love it.||| Posted on 2005-09-30 00:00:00 | by kma12790 | [ Reply to This ] |