In my head I hear a thousand voices/
some louder than others but all make noises/
some are bad and some are good/
some just tell me to split your head like wood/
I thinkin real hard i just don't know if i should/
it's not that I couldn't cause I know that I could/
and iF there was only 1 i'd be that 1 that would/
despite its length, it is really good. length does make a poem, but it is the words. and the words would have it me even harder than a fist. But I think it just needed to be heard! But all-in-all, its tight!
This definitely needs more. It seems like you got a line in your head...wrote it...and then gave up. You could give this a lot more life and a lot more character. You kind of drew away from your own ish here...pick back up where you left off and let me know when you do. I think that this deserves completion.
THE VOICES..well that is well done especially the last four lines.. the way the lines rhyme give a very eerie feel to the entire verse. the way that you have t6alked about the voices telling you to murder also adds a lot of character to the verse. i feel it is well written but shoet..may be some day i hope you will add more to it..i will be waiting to read it.
The writing nicely conveys a few conflicting emotions and makes it seem as if the narrator is more irritated by the voices than actually upset by them. Aside from a few minor grammatical mistakes this is nicely written