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Submission Name: Now dots

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Author:	wretched_muse
ASL Info:	20/f/OH
Elite Ratio:	4 - 182/205/64
Words:	138

Class/Type:	Poetry/
Total Views:	175
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	790

Description:
to much shit has been going on between me and my bf and one min were happy then next all we do is bitch and wonder why we havent given up yet

Now

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No more
I can take no more
All I wanted was your touch
All I wanted is us
And now, we’ve given up
After all the times we said we wouldn’t
After all the promises we vowed to keep
And now, nothing to show for are pain
No happy ends
No good night kisses
And now, im so alone
The one thing I never wanted
The one thing you protected me from
And now, im so scared
It hasn’t even been long and I miss you
It hasn’t sunken in and im already lost
I can take no more
No more

OH GOD BABY! Where did you go

My heart hasn’t stop beating
My mind hasn’t lost the thought of you
My life is over as I know it
My god I loved you

Submitted on 2005-10-02 02:29:56 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
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||| Comments |||
  I really liked this
This was truly sad to see how Love can lead to obsession
But it is a bitter sweet fact in todays society
Hopefully by writing this you are feeling better about yourself and eager to nove forward in Life
God Bless
Ron

Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
Thank You
Ron
| Posted on 2006-03-04 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
  The old song said it well; "Breaking up is hard to do", now just look- someone is waiting for your love, the end is brighter!
However if love stays away, count it a blessing and heal your broken heart.
On the other hand write another great write like this and we can share in crying in our beer.
| Posted on 2005-10-03 00:00:00 | by Clayton | [ Reply to This ]
  Powerful piece, I agree about the spell check but I didn't do that at first either. That one person said it will pass, not to be a downer, but I went through a break up two years ago and it only passes if you loved but weren't in love with them and you can't really know until two or three years down the line when you still dream of their touch at night. Sorry to be in-consoling but that's what happened to me. I feel the power of the emotion in this piece, it sadly made me think of my love which I didn't want to, but hell that's what poetry is for, to make you feel something. Great write, catch ya l8r.
| Posted on 2005-10-02 00:00:00 | by alittlebithippy | [ Reply to This ]
  well done. i've said it a hundred times, this subject, or anywhere near the realm of this subject has been done and done a thousand different ways. but i'm always amazed to see how someone else does it in their own unique way. really nice poem, good wording, structure. good effort.
| Posted on 2005-10-02 00:00:00 | by caster | [ Reply to This ]
  That's a really, really good poem man. The only tip I have is to spell check before you post, lol. "are" should be "our." "Beet" = "beat". But I mean, I can overlook those because you have a real deep message, and I have been in your shoes not too long ago. It's a terrible pain, I know, but it passes. ;) I promise. I'm glad I chose to read this!
| Posted on 2005-10-02 00:00:00 | by Lil Nick | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a powerful piece.
Simply got the message across.
The thing we all fear, to have the one we love so deeply be gone from our lives.
Not a bad piece at all. Didn't rhyme which was a good thing...people often force it, for it to become what they classify as poetry (I did it in my early writtings).
Keep it up
Jaymi
| Posted on 2005-10-02 00:00:00 | by theDevilsPocket | [ Reply to This ]

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