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    dots Submission Name: of the art of heartbreatingdots

    Author: kma12790
    Elite Ratio:    2.55 - 28/41/18
    Words: 67
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 730
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 515

       the lack of constant rhythm is intentional and hopefully adds to the power and meaning of this piece. i admit it's abstract, and therefore would appreciate an interpretation as well as crit's in your comments, thanks :)

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    dotsof the art of heartbreatingdots

    build a being in the sky
    then we'll talk
    because stuttering why
    is not a reason to walk

    your overconfidence
    is a faux affliction
    you embody
    walking contradictions
    caricaturize romance
    and pretend you possess conviction

    accomplish anything, a thought of your own
    taking best guesses is an intimate postpone
    your proposition disintegrates with you inside
    but i never thought you could be that kind

    Submitted on 2005-10-02 12:11:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      it was powerful and i also liked the same words as natalia, they were very powerful in giving a meaning. the first stana was kinda weak, but it wasn't bad.
    | Posted on 2005-10-02 00:00:00 | by withblindedeyez | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi, thanks for your comments on my poem! I agree with you here that the inconsistent rhythm infact emphasises its purpose. The way you've conveyed this type of love as a pretence and superficial is very effective and you obviously have a great talent in choice of words.

    "you embody
    walking contradictions
    caricaturize romance"

    These lines in particular really stood out for me, as they express the deception that this person experienced. Delusion has clearly taken love's position.
    A great poem!
    | Posted on 2005-10-02 00:00:00 | by Natalia Murray | [ Reply to This ]
      i felt the first stanza took away from this poem. but other than that, it was powerful and well written. the last line is a hit. keep writing!
    | Posted on 2005-10-02 00:00:00 | by fabulousAMY | [ Reply to This ]

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