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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Trappeddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Liminality
    ASL Info:    15/Male/WA
    Elite Ratio:    3.05 - 8/13/6
    Words: 177
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 204
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1008



    Description:
       My mom controling my life. This is how I feel and deal with it


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTrappeddots
    -------------------------------------------


    I want to be free,
    But the wall you built is too high.

    I want to live my life, my way,
    But your plain is so perfect.

    I try and escape but you have me trapped,
    Trapped in your world your life your way.

    I’m not you. Why can’t you see that?
    You’re blinded by your pride, stupidity, ignorance
    And desire, for control over my life.

    You really can’t see that you’re killing me,
    My body fades away into the depths of hell because of you.

    I’m trapped and can’t escape.

    I give up. It’s yours, my life you can have it, and I don’t want it.
    But you will never be able to forget me,
    I’ll be haunting you in every dream.
    I’ll be watching you in every mirror.
    I’ll be killing you in everyway I know how.

    I never want you to forget; that that was my life you took,
    And you will never, for that is my blood that covers your hands.




    Submitted on 2005-10-02 16:56:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      oh the frustration of it all
    It come across so strongly
    the last two lines are/were worrying though so many people take their own lives to 'show ' someone
    and say 'now look what you made me do'
    it is too cruel
    so don't
    you will get through this
    and love is a complicated thing, take some more time to look at it.
    I look forward to seeing your next poem
    make a place for yourself in that
    remember you can write a world
    | Posted on 2005-12-02 00:00:00 | by ertha | [ Reply to This ]
      great write. i know how you feel. i have the same problem w/ my parents. i think on the last line you should of put "And you will never forget that is my blood that covers your hands". you may have meant to and made a typing error tho. your work shows originality tho and im sure alot off ppl can relate to it. good job...keep up the work
    | Posted on 2005-10-02 00:00:00 | by tomboy | [ Reply to This ]
      Great write. The flow wasa little choppy. And the lines were to long in some parts, but it showed much originality. I know how you feel, my parents control my life as well. Anyway keep up the good work.

    >:D
    | Posted on 2005-10-02 00:00:00 | by skullreaperX_X | [ Reply to This ]



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