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    dots Submission Name: A Perfect Futuredots

    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 95
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 893
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 625


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Perfect Futuredots

    I suppose it's something to pine for
    on days like this
    when it's wet, cold, and Sunday,
    and I want to sleep late
    because I need to,
    but I can't sleep
    without you by my side,
    but you had to work,
    and we had an argument,
    and I'm not even sure
    that you love me anymore,
    but there's little
    that I wouldn't do
    for you to come home
    from the hospital
    and not be tired
    and kiss me and love me
    like it wasn't a tedious day,
    and we'd been kind.

    Submitted on 2004-04-18 13:27:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      hey, this is really nice - very conversational - very 'staright from the heart' - very pure, simple with no frills - very 'as is'.
    | Posted on 2004-04-19 00:00:00 | by Judy | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this. I guess everyone after a fight, just wants to be held, and loved, and know that everything is okay. Sometimes not having that reassurance makes us feel insecure, or it just keeps us awake in the middle of the night. A haunting memory as we try to figure out what we did to find ourselves in the place we are in.

    | Posted on 2004-04-19 00:00:00 | by Nashataku | [ Reply to This ]
      This is not as lyrically stated as your other pieces..Kind of bland and colorless but much more emotionally charged. You tell the story well...the insecurity felt after an arguement and the reassurance that everything be alright when he comes home. Lonliness and insecurity are pretty powerful and painful emotions.
    | Posted on 2004-04-19 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ]
      This was beautiful. The way you've simply stated these things without the use of various poetic techniques, that, while are beautiful can just weigh down what one was trying to say. Sad... but realistic and sweet.
    | Posted on 2004-04-18 00:00:00 | by Voodoo_Lounge | [ Reply to This ]
      what a tangled web we weave cuds! but look on the bright side, if everything was perfect there wouldn't be no such thing as make-up sex...write on.
    | Posted on 2004-04-18 00:00:00 | by pestiferous | [ Reply to This ]

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