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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Almostdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Geraldine
    ASL Info:    25
    Elite Ratio:    3.2 - 241/296/80
    Words: 136
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 913
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 793



    Description:
       another poem, same heartbreak...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAlmostdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I almost loved you
    Almost told you I cared
    I almost gave you my heart
    but then you left me here

    I almost thought you felt
    the way I felt for you
    Almost thought I heard you
    say you loved me too

    I almost let my soul
    drift away from me
    Was almost blinded by your words
    but now I'm able to see

    I almost fell in-love
    almost gave you my heart
    But now I know I was wrong
    and had been from the start

    I almost had the life
    that I worked so hard to get
    I almost lost it all
    on the day we met

    So now I will move on
    though I almost let go
    I almost let you break me
    but I won't ever let you know




    Submitted on 2005-10-03 16:06:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      :) A sentimental feeling inside is what i feel here.
    Its such a good piece, but a sad story. To which I am sure alot of people can (dreaded word)> 'relate' < to. That is what makes a good piece though, as every person that reads it has their own personal thoughts about it, be it good or bad, they are all relating and responding to it, is that not what a poet craves?
    I won't waste your time by putting up here little snippets of your work, because you wrote them, and me saying what I thought worked well doesn't, honestly, matter. Instead be happy that I found truth, meaning and a deep justification into what your words were saying. Thank you for that.

    Mstr Rz
    | Posted on 2005-12-30 00:00:00 | by master raz | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem was especially exceptional. One thing that I think that you could have done better to make this a master piece is put more feeling into what you write.

    My favorite part was when you said
    "I almost had the life"
    and it seems that you almost had the perfect paradise but it was something that you couldn't have done to stop it.

    Good write and keep it up.
    | Posted on 2005-10-06 00:00:00 | by poet09 | [ Reply to This ]
      I almost let my soul
    drift away from me
    Was almost blinded by your words
    but now I'm able to see

    I almost fell in-love
    almost gave you my heart
    But now I know I was wrong
    and had been from the start

    My favorite part. I read a poem earlier and, as with that one, this one has a very haunting quality. A subtle elegance that causes it to hang with you. Good poem.
    | Posted on 2005-10-03 00:00:00 | by Dark_Dancer | [ Reply to This ]
      It was good. I don't know though, It left em unsatisfied for some reason. I t is written very well, it has a good rythym, and it has emotion, but it, it lacks something.
    Hmmm, I don't know, but it's just missing something.
    | Posted on 2005-10-03 00:00:00 | by die_another_day | [ Reply to This ]
      I almost let my soul
    drift away from me
    Was almost blinded by your words
    but now I'm able to see
    I love this part.
    Really Sound like something i ONCE SAID. I bet alot of people have said that. your able to realte and remind people that is good.
    | Posted on 2005-10-03 00:00:00 | by _DeathBySofa_ | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked this piece and im going through the same sort of thing right now im my life, so i feel what you're going through and i hope that everything works out for you in the end. But about the poem excellent job on it very well written good luck
    | Posted on 2005-10-03 00:00:00 | by Lost My Love 4ever | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked the rhyme you used. It fitted very well and was not forced at all. Very heartfelt and sadness ran through the spine of the whole thing. A sad, but a very good write.
    | Posted on 2005-10-03 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      I know sometimes you got to hold your baggage real tight so it doesn't get stolen.
    Cool little riffs about that sort of thing.
    | Posted on 2005-10-03 00:00:00 | by childs | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
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    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    76409

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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