Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Humanitydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: akaietowa-ru_18
    ASL Info:    20/F/Belly of the Beast
    Elite Ratio:    3.68 - 101/125/64
    Words: 124
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 929
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 918



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHumanitydots
    -------------------------------------------


    The tears of humanity,
    union and fall.

    Fake as the winged dreams of wealth.
    Passing on and on
    like the crystal waves.

    Old to youth,
    as youth is to lashes.

    Fire kindles in night.
    As moths they all flutter.
    In a whim of a flower
    conopys and fake laughter.

    Sing with birds atop a spear.
    Drenched in blood,
    soaked in tears.

    The spike humanss take
    bursts though the weils of silk.

    Innocence and wonder,
    betrayel and screams.
    All combined,
    and all fallen.

    Lost within heoards.
    Lost within gasping breaths.
    Shivers, pale skin,
    reaching out for salvation,
    redemption....

    One crack of light in a vast ocean.
    Lost with the waves of all greed....

    ...the angels scream.




    Submitted on 2005-10-03 16:37:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Ok, so, I get a few meanings out of this. The first, and most resounding is humanity's decadent self destruction. However, I also sense that you feel that we betray and actually destroy our childeren by not letting them freedom of hope.

    The lines:
    "Old to youth,
    as youth is to lashes."

    speaks too many truths to me. Taken on its own, I gather that to grow old is as unavoidable as being hurt, and as unavoidable as hurting others.

    Anyhow, I enjoyed this piece a lot. Salaam. Anshin. Peace.
    | Posted on 2006-05-22 00:00:00 | by Rastine Aristat | [ Reply to This ]
      This my friend is one of the best poems ive read and is really needed in todays society
    It speaks of how we are destroying a childs dream simply by not opening up our hearts to them and showing them the way to achieve there very dreams

    It was written perfectly
    Thank You so much for sharing this
    Take Care
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-11-22 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Another interesting write from you...very deep and your meaning is fairly well hidden in this, leaving several interpretations. I haven't made my mind up yet, so you've done well in the "make 'em think" stakes.

    I really liked the way it read, though, very good indeed, well done

    be Happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-10-03 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow,I love the imagery!...The ryhme shceme is what I don't get...Some of it ryhmes and then some of doesn't...It just doesn't identify with me,but...Who says all poems have to ryhme?...Infact,noone.It just depends on the person who is writing it and the type of poem it is...So,don't fret.I enjoyed this poem very because I understand what you are implying;what you see.So,wonderful job. :D - Lindel
    | Posted on 2005-10-03 00:00:00 | by LRRolins | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    76413

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry