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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Aviditydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Joel Prado
    Elite Ratio:    0.01 - 0/2/1
    Words: 115
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 197
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 801



    Description:
       Its missing direct imagery.. but its meant to apply to different settings. I'd like critique, but most of all.. I'd like to see what setting you all pictured as you read through and imagined. Thank you. BTW, this is my first poem.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAviditydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Avidity

    To ache and yearn
    an ardent kiss,
    A passion churns
    agonizing bliss

    Vividly enticing
    a fantasy conceived
    Illusions surmising
    a destiny believed

    Consuming desire
    a revel in lust,
    Committing, so dire
    a heart entrust

    Eyes behold
    the moment to seize
    A move so bold
    entailed to appease

    Intently seducing
    with titillative taste
    Eagerly perusing
    a panting haste

    Alluringly incisive
    the subtle graze,
    Imminently incensive
    the insatiate embrace

    A rendered amour
    perpetually elated
    The sweet languor
    reminisced and unabated




    Submitted on 2005-10-03 23:51:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is not bad at all, but as to what picture I saw w/in my mind...it was all a blur...it was like a fast track-images too quick to capture...I think you could use a little bit more detail, slow the pace down...beautiful words but add a little to it...

    so as I read the poem, I think that it starts off w/ a want or desire, a kiss, and it turns into an actual physical event...love-making, ur, lust-making...well, it starts off w/ the ideal w/ just lust, just a bodily desire, but turns into something more heavenly, love...
    that's my picture...a person-we'll say man, who is in search for that one desire and it unfolds into something much more...

    Hey, this was a pretty good poem, good job..
    -stacey-
    | Posted on 2005-10-04 00:00:00 | by idlewriter | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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