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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Day in, Day out...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: amenora
    ASL Info:    17/m/missouri
    Elite Ratio:    4.71 - 35/49/30
    Words: 205
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 232
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1398



    Description:
       written a long time ago,.. theres a lot in my poems i recognize personally, but maybe the concepts are too abstract or vague for readers to enjoy.. i dunn0 th0.. lemme know whatcha think..


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDay in, Day out...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Day in and day out.
    where there's a way in,
    there's a way out.
    when secluded in a swamp of futility,
    everything matters.
    you eat the fruit, yet taste sterility,
    and everyone scatters.
    the torment you've fought,
    lingers long in your thought.
    claiming this is its spot,
    this alone you can not stop.
    but in retrospect, all is clear.
    you are alone, but where from here?
    which way to go, theres too much to fear.

    beneath the consciousness,
    transcending common sense.
    you'll find these old foot prints.
    and to whom does this path belong?
    who tread in that matter, so long?
    you trace the steps,
    beautifully made.
    almost none left,
    but where they lay
    you see familiar blood.
    that which lit the way

    day in and day out,
    you look for something, and its still not found.
    all along, you were looking for love.
    all alone, the end of the path is where it lies.
    the body of the broken,
    and the knife through it's back.
    the name remains unspoken;
    we'll call him the love that you lacked.
    he found a way in,
    simplified your life;
    you stumbled on the way out
    slipped, but he took the fall,
    right upon the knife.




    Submitted on 2005-10-04 06:04:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i like vague poems and sometimes i think that they should be aimed for..because then you get to keep your meaning to yourself..almost like a secret something sacred..writing for you and not necessarily for others..it also gives the reader a chance to make the poem their own and give it its own meaning...to me this was a search and like almost all searches you go through the winds of doubt..i love the first 7 lines..i never really thought about when you feel nothing matters that thats when everything matters..everything becomes so bland..you dont know where to go...you dont know if you can go...and you worry about what will happen if you do...but you stumble upon a path..and maybe not the wisest choice you take it...could you tell me what you meant about the blood?..im not sure how to take it even in my interpretation..i see the emptiness and understand love is whats missing..but often when make mistakes or stumble its love that takes the hit..ok im going to go back and take a stab at the familiar blood..is it mine?...its seems to me that i had love at one pont in time..but left it there..lost i go back to retrieve it because nothings right anymore..but again when we fall..love takes the hit...i dont know if im close..but thats what i got..also side point..i think the first stanza needs a break..becomes somewhere in there you change..or make a progression..that ppl could c better if you make it another stanza somewher along lines...11/12/13..

    i look forward to reading more from you, this goes on my fav.

    ~ink~
    | Posted on 2005-10-04 00:00:00 | by inkonspikuous | [ Reply to This ]



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