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Its cold where i've been colder where i'm going the agony is deep the pain finally showing the blood now mixed with dripping rain the razor slips and i'm in pain the line across my wrist is stained in red afraid to let go and afraid to go ahead my secrets want what they can't have please hear me now i'm going mad it's warm where i've been but not warmer where i'm going so please pray for me cause now my blood is flowing |
nice...i used to cut aswell... but i nver did it for the escapism... i was always into it because it turned me on. dunno why... maybe just the adrinaline. either or... i liked you piece, as it had a good, solid rhyme. the caidence seemed just a hair off, but that's cool. maybe it should be off... the end, though....feels abrupt. (not to be too insulting) sounds sorta like high school homework...just cut off there to get it over with. all in all a well writen piece... not some thing to show off to everyone (and definately not to the men in the white suits), but still worthy of pride.| Posted on 2005-10-13 00:00:00 | by DontSaveMySoul | [ Reply to This ] | Nice job! I've been a cutter at one point, and I've depressed on and off for my entire life. I understand the feeling. It's hard to stop too, and I have to congradualte you for actually being able to do it before it was too late! As for the poem, it's alright. It would probably be better a little longer. I loved the way you started it/ended it. The first four/last lines are my favorite. | | Posted on 2005-10-12 00:00:00 | by miss__smiles | [ Reply to This ] | this is pretty good! i dont really understand why no one commented on this! its good im glad u dont cut anymroe neitheri do i ! good job! | ~akaila evonne~ | Posted on 2005-10-09 00:00:00 | by iluvpoetry_1 | [ Reply to This ] | |