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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Wish You Were Heredots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: WindEmpress
    ASL Info:    15/f/meditating
    Elite Ratio:    3.15 - 95/124/44
    Words: 91
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 237
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 511



    Description:
       


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    dotsWish You Were Heredots
    -------------------------------------------


    When life gets a little to harsh
    And emotions run high
    I know that you won't mind if I go to you
    And tell you everything is wrong
    You'll look at me and say that things will look up
    But how can I go to you when you are miles from me?
    No one here can comfort me so
    And I find myself locked in this constance
    When will things change?
    Would it be better if I hurt myself?
    Would it make the pain go away?
    I wish you were here....




    Submitted on 2005-10-04 16:23:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      There was a little too much wordage... or rather, you could have wording things a bit differenetly and used fewer. The flow is a bit, well, not there. Nice idea, just needs to be expressed with a bit of revamping.
    | Posted on 2005-12-09 00:00:00 | by Renada | [ Reply to This ]
      you must literally be in my mind. i have gone through every one of those emotions and all of those thoughts have crossed my mind. this was ao amazing to me because those would be my words EXACTLY, had i been able to verbalize what i was feeling when i was feeling that way...i guess i should say THANK YOU...peace

    C.ME
    | Posted on 2005-10-04 00:00:00 | by CompletelyME | [ Reply to This ]



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