Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Rage Insidedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: josymanthegreat
    ASL Info:    21/m/GA from Puerto Rico
    Elite Ratio:    4.73 - 337/364/104
    Words: 66
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angry
    Total Views: 603
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 438



    Description:
       This is my latest poem it is about what I think drives some of our emotions and feelings so yeah I know it is not the best of what I could do but hey, it is what I felt like at the moment


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Rage Insidedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Now what is it
    That drives the gears
    That little voice
    Inside your ears

    What is the thing
    That drives your hate
    Somethings been done
    A twist of fate

    How come it drives us
    'Til it is gone
    And at our actions
    leaves us stunned

    I'll answer all this
    In the last line
    Ready for it?
    It is the Rage Inside




    Submitted on 2005-10-04 18:20:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This poem was great, dawg. You used to right words to express your anger. And I understand that, because I dont' have much rage, but when it does arrive, I do feel like I have this voice in my ears that's just powering it up. Good job, dawg.
    | Posted on 2005-11-23 00:00:00 | by K-Beezy | [ Reply to This ]
      nice job. the choice of words used was perfect. i can relate alot...i get alot of angry thats expressed exactly like your poem. it sucks to have anger like that.
    | Posted on 2005-10-06 00:00:00 | by lil_gh0st_girl | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a good poem. It is short and very direct. Summed up very nicely with the final line. You speak of such feelings that are so difficult to deal with and the frustration that can be so overwhelming. So much anger inside yet no where for it to go. Writing it in a poem is a great place to put it! It is a healthy release and provides a place for reflection. I know this feeling and it is quite unsettling. Just gives me the image of someone pacing hastily around the room not knowing what to do with himself. Very good expression here! Take care!

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-10-05 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked the poem. I've gotten the real feeling of teenage angst here. One thing: the last stanza bothered me a bit. It's just me, but I don;t think you should tell the reader what they are about to here. Suprise them through a more creative way.
    | Posted on 2005-10-05 00:00:00 | by kristiana | [ Reply to This ]
      That's a good point... the last line just kind of pulled it all together. Very lovely. I have a terribly large amount of rage inside... but I control myself very well I've just gotten good at pretending things dont bother me. I agree with that other comment that says you have good rhyming skills... you really do. ...Quite impressive... As always, excellent job

    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2005-10-04 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, that was a great piece. I'm just lost for words. I've always wondered what it is that drives my rage and makes me angry, but I think you've explained it perfectly.

    I love this stanza:
    "Now what is it
    That drives the gears
    That little voice
    Inside your ears"
    It's well written. It's like you're hinting at a secret you know, but aren't going to tell us. It was also a great way to open the poem. The last stanza was good. It just seemed like the best way to finish off your poem. Great write!
    ~Kriss
    | Posted on 2005-10-04 00:00:00 | by juss_kriss | [ Reply to This ]
      Ahh yes I can really relate. I've had a lot of rage myself lately thanks to people who are driving me completely insane and my friend just called me a while ago and has given me an even worse temper. So right now I'm in a process of recovering from my anger. LOL. So yea great write that I could relate to. Just hope not everyone else can relate right now like me. LOL. No complaints that I can think of. Nicely done.

    Brenna
    | Posted on 2005-10-04 00:00:00 | by Day DreaMeR | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    76543

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry