Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
    • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
    • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Letter for a frienddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: josymanthegreat
    ASL Info:    21/m/GA from Puerto Rico
    Elite Ratio:    4.73 - 337/364/104
    Words: 201
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 734
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 967



    Description:
       This is a guy who is in jail, who finds out that his best friend is going out with his girl and taking care of her.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLetter for a frienddots
    -------------------------------------------


    My dear friend from the streets:

    I hope everything is going good. Now it isnt going to be easy to do what I am about to do. I dont mean to disrespect you, that is not why I wrote. Some time have gone by and I know your position. You know she has suffered, and I have made her feel like she wasnt worth it for me but I am sorry. You know that I have made her cry, even if I have loved her. Even though I have lost her, I have to ask you one last thing... take care of her. I dont know why just take care of her. I have there failed but I never thought I would tell you to take care of her. Now dont ever forget, we were brought up together. You have always been there for her and of her took care. Maybe what I had sometime ago I didnt know to appreciate and now you my friend, are taking care of her. You who can see her, not meaning to offend, tell her that I understand, why like this it had to be. Peace.

    Your friend from the streets




    Submitted on 2005-10-04 18:47:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I think this was really creative...not many people put this kind of thing out there, I wonder though, why did he go to jail? Hmmm...not really relevant I guess but still interesting.

    I think that it is sad that he is with his girl, that he is his bestfriend and with his girl...that isn't cool at all. And the guys response was really moving too, you know he is in pain but he isn't cruel about it.

    THis was cool.

    Jaz
    | Posted on 2005-10-07 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this...what inspired you to write this? just wondering. it explains in detail about everything and i like that it spreads alot of emotion in it also. nice job...god bless...ashley N. D.
    | Posted on 2005-10-06 00:00:00 | by lil_gh0st_girl | [ Reply to This ]
      Very interesting and different. I liked it. The street vibe was felt throughout the letter. A little repetitive though. Try not using the same word so many times. in this case it was the word "care."
    | Posted on 2005-10-05 00:00:00 | by kristiana | [ Reply to This ]
      i agree wuth the above critique a very creative write
    the way i understood your poem was that you really care about this girl but shes been with someone else and you finally realized that she was gonna stay with him so your wishing him luck
    not an easy thing to do ive been there numerous times myself
    be strong thou i guarantee you youll find someone
    By the way ive been to san juan and loved it
    | Posted on 2005-10-04 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      I like that. Very creative. It kind of made me sad though. I feel bad for the guy in jail. I like how caring he is. It just reminds me that not many people are like that. I dont know... maybe they are, but I've met mostly a**holes. Anyways, this is very nicely written. It really makes you feel what the writer is feeling. I like it. Great job

    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2005-10-04 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?    		7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    76546

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry