BOXES AND MORE BOXES -------------------------------------------
Labels. Words
my box, or yours
fours walls of sanctity
closed air never felt so pure
beyond this box
there are more boxes
we can’t think outside the box
we are trapped in infinite corners
we must dismantle these boxes
and build new ones
into places more nourishing and habitable
labels need to be stretched
larger capacity for impregnation
more fluid
(less fluid)
less leaks
(more leaks)
more leaks
more transgression
more fluids swapping
spit stream communication
your boxed mouth never felt so good
and stifling the same time
a dark place
with light in the corners
bugs screaming
towards those knives of illumination
screaming
let me go
let me
go
Light…Cease!
to beckon me
upstairs there’s an artificial light fixture
your eyes and skin
are xeroxed copies
not photos
not quite some dying memory
just the imprint of a light bulb
once my eyes are closed
Box
Box
mine is round and it rolls
90 miles an hour
on box backed barring teeth
nothing alleviates me
but you and your light box
browned sanity
just you
help smash this box with me
we will use our feet
to smooth the earth into flattened cardboard
for less space
more space
it depends on perspective
Boxesboxesboxojsgnaspndsgnarrgggh! I hate boxes. Ahem. I apologize I just needed to get that out. O.k. now back to your piece. It's funny because everyone is boxed in on certain issues or feelings. I like how you incorporated another character into this and invited them to smash these boxes with you. It's kinda what I look for in a girl, to smash shi..t with me. Lol. As usual a great write.
wow amazing i may not write as much as the people befor but this is a most unique poem and i love how it discribes the insanity of your world and the boxes so i have not read any other poems yet of your but trust me i will .. OH .i WIll
It's been a while since I've been round and given this, I thought I'd check out your featured, "BOXES AND MORE BOXES".
Well, I'd like to say that I thought it was fantastic!
In my line of work, I often hear myself saying to others, 'think outside the box'. But this piece was so much more than that. To me, it spoke of our inner sanctum, growth, fears, transformation and so on.
"a dark place with light in the corners bugs screaming towards those knives of illumination screaming let me go let me go" – this stanza really gave it gritty, roots feel – what do we store in our boxes ? Such a brilliant way to express it !
And "xeroxed copies" – this was such an interesting twist – very reflective of how we perceive things.
I really got a kick out of the way you wrote this – the words, the format, the circular approach, everything – very effective.
One last thing – I have to mention your line "on box backed barring teeth". This line (in fact this whole stanza) was very powerful and had a real locomotion feel to it. It was my fav stanza of all and struck out at me.
I really enjoyed this piece – such a well written poem with a tarnished (in a good way) feel to it.
Maybe i am over simplyfing but i didnt get the poem in the same way others are describing it i saw a car as the box and the poem chronicling driving recklessly but if it is alot deeper it is alot deeper i am not much of a poet yet but maybe you cn help me to leran more please
If it weren't already impossible for me to sleep mroe tan 4 hours tonight, iwould write you an essay on this poem. but i enjoyed it immensely. i can not praise you sufficiently here, except to say "Yes."
You know I use this analogy alot when talking about religion. You know how god is a concept and it's inside this box and no one can open and see what's inside, so they argue about who has the prettiest ribbon or the best wrapping, or the sturdiest construction . . .
You take this idea a little further into the realm of words-as-concepts, and really, to my mind, all our vaunted knowledge falls into this category. We're masters of boxation! Umm, yeah.
So, you inspired a thought in me that is never really very far from my mind. We agree to use these tools to communicate, and we agree upon their historical meanings, and yet, as poets we strive to stretch them beyond their intent and use them in new and creative ways.
You've accomplished that here, and you've thrown in something dark and kinda sexy in there, and made it controversial or more interesting, I should say.
That's my two cents worth. You can keep the change!
ok now, first my disclaimer : all views in this comment are (the obvious) entirely my own. any representation to the likeness of other comments is completely unintentional. if I say “you” that could mean “said character” any statements, questions and/or analogies is strictly for the intended purpose of extracting a meaning from the write and should in no way represent the writers intent unless specifically designated by said writer to be as such. anything that has three or more lines will be labeled as a “stanza” regardless of whether or not it is a true definition of a stanza, this is for reference purposes. whew ok now onto this write…..
{10 stanzas recognized}
St 1 “labels and words” along with “my box or yours” this seems as if it is a description of one’s being. what makes a person’s world in their box. a popular saying I can relate to is “think outside the box” the word “or” designates a double meaning to me one is: you (said character) cannot differentiate between what is your space/being and those around you/target individual. the second meaning I take it that the person is saying this is what makes me while noticing another’s space/mind/personality etc. “four walls of sanctity” this can mean a few things here one: our protections the world we create for ourselves often times is sheltered from things that may otherwise harm us. other things might include an actual place someone’s home, church, work etc. however I’m not leaning toward that direction as it seems more apparent the box is one’s own being and not any physical place. this goes well with the next line “closed air never felt so pure.” it a safety inside one’s own world, mind. even in a moralistic belief structure one can find sanctuary.
St 2 “beyond this box there are more boxes” this is the notice of those who exist in the same realm far cry from those who are completely disconnected. ok now you have the popular clichéd statement yet with your own belief on it “one cannot think outside the box” this impresses on me that maybe it is said the writer this notion that one cannot go outside their knowledge (unless it is gained) maybe even making the point that a person cannot exceed their potential. this does ring true but it depends on what thinking we are doing. suppose the box is no longer just one person’s “world” lets say it is rules or what would be popularized as the “norm” then one can think outside those limitations. however I do believe this point was more accurately placed on the individual potential and not any outside “laws” (laws cover those of man and the divine), fads, or societies expectations. “trapped in infinite corners” this is a puzzling statement. a corner, mostly is where two or more pieces fit. it also could be 90 degrees one example: from the horizontal to the vertical this has far reaching implications. one view can be on the earthy plane and the higher realms. another can be one’s own body with the horizontal being outside existence. adding trapped and infinite does have a nice effect on it, though it is quite open to interpretations.
St 3 “we must dismantle these boxes” this could mean that one should go outside their own world and connect with others. other things I can extract is that the “dismantling” is breaking down the barriers that hold us back as a species that would be the following: class, religious belief, race, nationality, gender, ideology/political affiliation etc if this is correct it is a wonderful hope for humanity. people hold those very things precious there would have to be a mutual understanding and balance in that equation. “the building new ones” that could mean a new type of unity yet the thing is it would still be a box. maybe build a large super box eh? “into places more nourishing and habitable” this can mean wherever it would be accepted.
st 4 “labels need to be stretched, larger capacity for impregnation” to stretch a label, does that mean to bring other things under the same “umbrella” so to speak? impregnation is an interesting usage there for that would spawn new “life” a line of experience, ideas, and/or unification, maybe. I’m a little lost on the fluid part. if something flows it has energy is this analogous to some kind of metaphysical belief? I had a smoke and arrived to a conclusion (although I do not know if it is a great one) that the fluid represents communication. which may explain the less and more of it. I should have known better, I think, because of the labels. that should have been a hint in that cipher.
st 5 ok the fluid swapping does make a lot of sense now especially with the split stream communication. “your boxed mouth never felt so good yet stifling” it’s a two way street in these matters. words have so much depth to them I personally believe (and its just a personal one mind you) that women as a gender are more gifted in the realms of human interaction than a man ever could dream to be. to cut off the person from communication is something and to feel stifled about it tells me that though one may disconnect there are times when they wish to reconnect when they notice the value of that conversation.
St 6 ok this one is another puzzler. the dark place could mean the ego’s we have or our inclination to do evil and yet it could also mean something less nefarious as disconnection when relating it to the previous lines. “the bugs” very interesting but are horrid little creatures that make many of us (though not all) shy away in terror. I believe the bugs to be something that causes us not to pursue something. yet there is another introduction to this metaphoric equation that in the “knives of illumination” that would be something to scare away those “bugs” to be illuminated/enlightened, to become knowledgeable about something. what the bugs accurately represent and the illumination that takes place is open for the time being, at least to me. “Light…Cease! to beckon me” I don’t know how this fits in but it could be just me on it.
St 7 and St 8 I’m lost! it takes a lot for me to get lost. the artificial light fixture I can only draw a religious connotation to that. the imprint on the eyes once they are close is a temporary feeling.
St 9 ok I think I’m back on this after wandering in the wilderness for two stanzas. this cry for help to smash the box to reach out to someone, to gain a view/idea, help with potential, etc so many factors can be placed here. the last line I like it ‘depends on the perspective” that rings true for a lot of facet of society.
St 10 an echo from a previous stanza yet it is a second time leads me to believe the writer is stressing the importance of it.
spit-stream communication
my box, or yours?
ok to be honest I’m kind of leery now. I have this scary feeling I’m going have nightmare. those last words haunt me for some reason.
overall I see this as a brilliant write even tough a lot of it I could not grasp. I hope it did ok for what I gave I did my best here.
I just laughed my box off over this, the ending is superb. But what else would be the design protocol other than the box, it's containing and that is what the designers of this world have desired. But because you're here, we just might move out of it.
help smash this box with me we will use our feet to smooth the earth into flattened cardboard for less space more space it depends on perspective
we could send them to the baler and cut down fewer trees, all this reminds me how trapped we are, but if imagination finds us reading poems like this one, I'm free!!
thanks Krista, this is a very cool and inventive write, much love, Nan
Very kewl view of the stacked people in this world, all contained in a package within a package within a package... Adam Duritz once wrote a description of it as "in beds, in little rooms, in buildings, in the middle of the lives that are completely meaningless..." (Perfect Blue Buildings). When you start over-thinking about it, it blows your mind the concept of large apt. complexes, all just interlinked boxes that tower into the sky, boxes (closets) within boxes (rooms) within boxes (apartments) within boxes (building)... zoom zoom zoom, the whizzing thru the images and tiny spaces...
Labels. Words my box, or yours
The opening lines really define and backset the structure for the piece.
we can’t think outside the box we are trapped in infinite corners
Those lines were sheer brilliance. God, how true it is, too... Little distractions and things that we center on, to remove the fragility of the over-all whole, which could collapse at any moment under one small imbalance...
your eyes and skin are xeroxed copies not photos not quite some dying memory just the imprint of a light bulb once my eyes are closed
This again is just so well-written, the imprint of a light bulb once my eyes are closed... always there, burned into the fiber of being and sight, regardless of presence...
You really rocked with this one, I believe you told me before I had to be a few shades mad (as in Mad Hatter mad, I think) to "get" you, so this must mean I slid off the deep end, because it sings to me.
Submission Name: BOXES AND MORE BOXES
