Once Upon A Time by onetruesmartass

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dots

<< | >>

Submission Name: Once Upon A Time dots

--------------------------------------------------------

Author:	onetruesmartass
ASL Info:	30/F/Wa
Elite Ratio:	4.01 - 934/791/77
Words:	164

Class/Type:	Poetry/Legend
Total Views:	333
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	1171

Description:
It may sound childish and silly, but I still believe.

Once Upon A Time dots

-------------------------------------------

Once upon a time,
But not as long as you'd think,
Fairies flittered in the meadows
And Unicorns stopped to drink.

Nymphs danced and giggled
While Satyrs play a tune.
Soaring high with Pegasus
Under the light of a pale blue moon.

Conjured from the mind
A ball of flame in the hand.
Great Witches and Wizards
Revered through-out the land.

Mermaids sun and sing on the rocks
Charming the Captain and crew.
Only when they get close do they see
The Sirens have sealed their doom.

Deep inside the mountain
Where the Dragon sleeps,
Her tail curled around an egg
And the treasure that she keeps.

Back in the day
When magic was real.
Before we couldn't remember
And then couldn't feel.

Greed and corruption,
The ever-growing need for more
Has taken these creatures
And turned them to lore.

In our modern world we hide
Behind a logical fence.
We've lost them
And our unconcious innocence.

Submitted on 2005-10-05 14:00:34 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  i must say that i really loved this piece. it has touched my heart. wonder is to the soul what skeletal strcuture is to the body. would to God all of us would once again recapture our sense of wonder. i am currently writing a tremendous amount on the subject of wonder. i believe it is vital to ones existence.

i love how you incorporate all of the fairy characters within this poem. it is very powerful. there was a time in which every single one of us thought that we could fly. we learned of the fairies that danced on the blades of grass (a piece of one of my writes on wonder) before we knew what grass was.

there is an ethic to elfland that we in this modern world need to consider. i am not appealing to childishness in its undeveloped mind, but child-likeness in regards to hope, faith, belief and wonder.

i still believe also. my faith is in the person of Jesus Christ my Lord the author and finisher of all wonder. He is wonder personified. the older the heart gets the more wonder it needs to satisfy it , and only JESUS is big enough for the job.

great write! this sounds like something that i would write. check out my poem "frayed wings" it talks about a girl that has lost all hope and findds her salvation in wonderment. let me know what you think.
~john-paul
| Posted on 2006-06-15 00:00:00 | by rev.jpfadeproof | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a beautiful poem. Goes right to my fav ;)
I love fantasy and everything that goes with it... you've gathered so many factors of the fantasy world together, and yet the poem does not seem cluttered...it seemed like an ancient world where everyone lives in harmony... it's wicked! :)

-Nyn
| Posted on 2005-12-08 00:00:00 | by Nynaeve | [ Reply to This ]
  It's nice to dream of fantasy when the world gets to be too much.. when reality bites (so to speak). You've taken us on a nice fantasy here.. - or is it reality?? Because I do seem to recall this place.. when I was much younger.. before I let the world, and all it's responsiblities cause me to stop feeling and dreaming as I once did.

"In our modern world we hide
Behind a logical fence." < yeah - being logical isn't everything it's cracked up to be... a little fantasy thrown in, is much better.

"We've lost them
And our unconcious innocence."

Wonderful read!
~Sandra
| Posted on 2005-10-07 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
  NIce job

I like things that are fantasy and all mythology type things.

When looking back at things like this I think of lost creative storytelling that we had in the past.

This was fun

~shawn
| Posted on 2005-10-06 00:00:00 | by armand | [ Reply to This ]
  Incredible...I was completely lost for a moment in the world of fantasy...I was really struck with an image of a child growing up when I read this. Like the realization that all their beliefs were false...Incredible imagery, incredible rhyme, just incredible!
| Posted on 2005-10-06 00:00:00 | by beldolore | [ Reply to This ]
  oh Traci this is wonderful. the lost world of a child who grew up. again you get me with a great message. you always seem to push the right buttons. now my inner child says aww to this write. all your characters are superb. notable part the mermaids turning into sirens, dont they all?? ha ha sorry bad joke. i love it Traci! I think if one writer could ever cause me to tear without a tragedy it would be you. you are movin up soon youll be waving behind ya, bye mike!! excellent work!

~mike
| Posted on 2005-10-05 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]
  Neat little fantasy, ravi, very well done. I'll go along with Leanne re the flow, but you certainly covered all bases of creatures of myth in there, and gave a neat little lesson in the end, it really reminded me of something I'd write.

I loved it!

Be Happy

Graeme
| Posted on 2005-10-05 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
  What a world of wonder you've painted here, sweetie! I still believe in magic too. You did a great job on this piece. I think I must go fav it right now!

My favorite part is

Mermaids sun and sing on the rocks
Charming the Captain and crew.
Only when they get close do they see
The Sirens have sealed their doom.

Not all magic was good back in the day. But it was all magic and everyone had a piece of it. It's sooo sad that we have forgotten that magic. Life could be so amazing!

Loved it, loved it, loved it!

-Chell-
| Posted on 2005-10-05 00:00:00 | by Chell | [ Reply to This ]
  It was nicely written but I didnt like the theme. The first too stanzas were a little bit...uh...weird

Back in the day
When magic was real.
Before we couldn't remember
And then couldn't feel.

Umm I really like this stanzea. dont know why just do. but yea the rest could use a little bit of work... but still keep writing

<3 adalae
| Posted on 2005-10-05 00:00:00 | by lifeNsoul1224 | [ Reply to This ]
  Yeah, but you didnt mention the scourges of the earth, HA! Just kiddin'

This was an nice traquil piece Traci. Sweet and just makes me wanna get naked and run through a field of tall grass, ya know, that free spirit feeling of delight. I always get that around springtime.

Thanks for the enchanting journey here. Have a good one and keep smilin'
| Posted on 2005-10-05 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
  Couldn't leave without checking this out...glad I waited...
What a world to bring me to...back in the day when magic was real...h*ell, I'm still feeling it. I really liked this Traci, (as always)

3rd, 4th and 5th stanza's just really sucked me in...and well, I wasn't happy at the end, cuz I wanted to hear more (there is more right?) it was an excellent piece

Very well done Sweetness
Lisa
| Posted on 2005-10-05 00:00:00 | by ravenwolf68 | [ Reply to This ]
  i am such a sucker for faerie tales... make believe and all that. perhaps that's why Harry Potter fascinated me so!

i love the references to unicorns and satyrs and dragons.. i live in my mind sometimes, and these are the things i see too.. if they are real in our mind, we can go there anytime we want to. i pity the person who cannot let go enough to imagine and play like this. thanks for the trip into your imagination!

peace&unicorns,
~Cat
| Posted on 2005-10-05 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]

Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

[ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

Enter your search terms Submit search form

Web www.eliteskills.com

[ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
[ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .

[ Quick Signup ]
[ Lost Password ]

January 10 07
131,497 Poems
Posted

I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

[ Angst Poetry ]
[ Cutters ]
[ Famous Poetry ]
[ Poetry Scams ]

FontSize:
[ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]

This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.