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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Slow Comfortable Screwdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: dreamweaver
    ASL Info:    28/f/WI
    Elite Ratio:    7.22 - 1022/443/42
    Words: 95
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1759
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 696



    Description:
       Just paying homage to one of my favorite things!

    Can anybody figure out what my favorite thing is?




    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSlow Comfortable Screwdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Drawn into a dimly lit room,
    music beckons-
    ever so gently seducing me.
    My eyes meet yours,
    locked on mine,
    knowing what I desire.
    Everything lies before me.
    Anxious to begin,
    I realize you're starting to sweat.

    As our lips touch,
    electricity charges through my entire body.
    Drinking from your loving cup,
    becoming completely overtaken.
    Intoxicating,
    my head starts to spin.
    Longing for this feeling,
    only you can bring me to this euphoric state.

    Lost in this moment,
    knowing I don't want this to come to an end-
    I beg for another round.




    Submitted on 2005-10-05 16:49:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I don't think I want to say what your favourtite thing is. I believe you and I both know what that is...lol

    This was really nice... that is, it was written very well. Like all your writes Candi.

    Keep up the great work
    Take care
    Later
    | Posted on 2006-05-15 00:00:00 | by Departed One | [ Reply to This ]
      awesome lol. i was looking through your stuff and noticed this one. how could i not comment! anyways who doesnt enjoy a slow comfertable screw...and tenacious d says "you dont always hafta [censored] her hard"-_^
    -jon
    | Posted on 2005-12-17 00:00:00 | by jbb360 | [ Reply to This ]
      And don't the lot of us look like fools considering only a few of them got it right. I know we all had our hormones out for pleasure and I know I never thought of the cool sweating glass and the awsome power of that nip upon the lips.
    You got us good, and I'll admit it. This was even better that anyone ever expected.
    I owe you one if we ever cross paths at a watering hole in the nieghborhood!
    I read all of the comments and it was amazing the sweaty palms and rapid heartbeats around here.
    WE were definately LOST in this moment, more so than you.
    GREAT way to pull the wool over our eyes, LATER
    | Posted on 2005-12-14 00:00:00 | by Clayton | [ Reply to This ]
      The title to this one will really catch some eyes hu?
    This was a cleverly written piece and I liked read'n it.
    We can close down the bar with this one cause it says it all. Very well written and thanks for sharing...
    !doc`
    | Posted on 2005-11-04 00:00:00 | by dr_tigger | [ Reply to This ]
      Whew...thought I'd never get to the comment box..lol.
    And, whew again, You really had me going with this one..and I can guarantee you, I didn't have a "drink" on my mind while reading this...until I read the other comments.
    The sexual undertone and inuendos are fire hot in this one.
    Very cleverly done...

    Nice write
    ~Sandra
    | Posted on 2005-10-09 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      lol a shot glass with a face on it or a beer of some sort? anyhows it has to do with a drink and a cup or both? if i am wrong please ambarrased me by yelling YOU FOOL HOW DEER YOU SAY THAT ABOUT MY WORK AINT IT OVIOUSE IT IS BLA BLA LOL and i will reply, what? sorry sniff sniff boowoo whines lol
    tell me what it is
    peace
    | Posted on 2005-10-09 00:00:00 | by dudethis | [ Reply to This ]
      What a nice slow burn!

    I really felt the heat! This was so well done. Very sensual, even romatic and yet erotic. Whew! what a combination!

    Took several minutres before I could stand up and walk around without embarrasing myself!!

    Steve
    | Posted on 2005-10-06 00:00:00 | by SHRINKSDR | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmmm..I myself don't like Southern Comfort, but I'm thinkin' I may need to reconsider that! lol This is a great piece, Candi! Very steamy and sensual without being trashy. It's such a thin line and you've handled it nicely. Great write.
    Traci :)
    | Posted on 2005-10-06 00:00:00 | by onetruesmartass | [ Reply to This ]
      Well...pour me a tall one will ya???

    Very well done Candi...I like this a whole lot. Tasteful and well...I'm still wiping the sweat off from myself...

    The first stanza just really WOW...Excellent, I need to quit re-reading it

    Very well done my friend
    Lisa
    | Posted on 2005-10-06 00:00:00 | by ravenwolf68 | [ Reply to This ]
      At the moment i have a really bad head cold,someone said to me put your head in steam and you will feel better.WoW you just cured me!,this is very steamy indeed!Very sensual with a lovely erotic undertone that was exquisitley done.Another brilliant piece of work candi "keep up" the good work=p
    Graham
    | Posted on 2005-10-06 00:00:00 | by gd66uk | [ Reply to This ]
      Ummmmm-ummmmm, yummy!

    You'll have to bear with me on this comment, I have a bit of a hang-over, but really wanted to comment on this sexy little number!

    Very nicely written; sensually vivid and seductivety misleading. Sounds like something I might write!

    I wonder though, if you write this well about a drink, how well can you write.. about... the..."real thing"?

    I really enjoyed this piece, Candi!

    Bravo!
    -Chell-
    | Posted on 2005-10-06 00:00:00 | by Chell | [ Reply to This ]
      i believe you have done a beautiful job of paying homage to everyone's favorite thing! great write, one of my fav. things i've read! keep up the great writing.

    ~smlaw
    | Posted on 2005-10-06 00:00:00 | by smlaw | [ Reply to This ]
      ok, cuddledumplin needs to be quiet! if she'd drink more screwdrivers like you (did i get it right?) then she wouldn't be so bitter. hey, great write!
    | Posted on 2005-10-06 00:00:00 | by treybur | [ Reply to This ]
      hee hee! You naughty girl you! And what a title you have given this too! hot hot hot! Yeeeeeeeeeeoooooooooooooooowwwwch! haha! This is something new and different from you! Sex sex and more sex! Look at the steam coming off this page GEEZ! This is good stuff here...the sh it girl! Well he must be damn good to leave you begging for another round! Either that or he is a one minute wonder! hahahahahhahahha! Ohhh, having tons of fun with this one my friend! You just brightened my morning with this poem, yes you did! I think this is good! And obviously the sex was too! Woooo hoooooooo! hee hee!

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-10-06 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      i have to agree with cuddldumplin, screw is not the right word at all for thise piece. The piece is much more...sophiscated, at least mroe than the word screw. It just takes away from the impression or inclination of any sort of romantic antics, instead, its just a quick meaningless round for nothing but personal pleasure. Unless thats actually what it is. I dunno, anyway, other than that I think it was pretty good. I also think you could do a lot better, and just make it more, intimate, and I guess real, it just didn't give me a sense that it was actually real. However, it was decent, and a heckofa lot better than some other pieces I've read lately, but again, as I said before, you could do better

    ~Anarius~
    | Posted on 2005-10-06 00:00:00 | by Anarius | [ Reply to This ]
      YEAH NICE WRITE... lmao oh sorry... just liked it that much... the tittle dragged me totally in here and so I will comment on this... I am just imagining every single thing you wrote in my mind right now and it is running over and over again like a star wars movie... Beg for more? Damn you should not have to do that lol just take what you want ja ja ja... oh sorry again carried away... well nicely written and I will be checking more of your work out soon lol

    Jose J. Ortiz aka Josyman
    | Posted on 2005-10-06 00:00:00 | by josymanthegreat | [ Reply to This ]
      Ok, I have to say that using the word "screw" defeats the whole mood of the poem. To me screwing is emotionless genital grinding devoid of any romance at all, so I really don't think it works. I like the poem otherwise though. You also need to have dashes instead of hyphens. I also think you could tighten this up some; for instance, doesn't "knowing I don't want this to end" say the same thing as "knowing I don't want this to come to an end" with fewer words. Good work, Amy
    | Posted on 2005-10-05 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      awesome Candi wow! did someone turn up the steam on this page? very detailed nice touch with the music and its seduction. "eyes are very important in a romance write" another writer once told me and you have put them in wonderfully. drinking from your lovely cup mmm great language usage there and its intoxicating effect oooo la la. <<look even the smileys got together! the begging for another round at the end is great! fabulous Candi! now i gotta take a cold shower!
    | Posted on 2005-10-05 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]
      Ha!!!! Excellent stuff!
    I wish yoiu hadn't given the game away in the dscription, I'd love to hear the interpretations you may have got (including from me)

    Very well done, Candi, you achieved what you set out to do, described your favorite drink with a touch of steam.

    Lovely.

    be Happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-10-05 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      I MUST SAY that to leave out kissing the big toe and working up to the bottomless pit of want is so sad! Many a slober upon a thigh has led to round three. Also. where was the tongue lashing that every Tom ,"DICK" and Harry deserves?
    Your listed as twenty-four, so my vast amount of casonova activities has got to be greater in numbers, however I assume quality is the best measuring device!
    Anyway, i hope your making light of this, it is meant to be light, althought you wrote of it being dimly lit and your thinking dim-wit; who is this guy.
    But, you did a magnificient read here for us to salivate over, too bad it is wasted on the keyboard instead of a good fast one in the heat of the moment.
    | Posted on 2005-10-05 00:00:00 | by Clayton | [ Reply to This ]
      Whoooooo-hoooooooo Candi coated dreamy weaver! Few can write about this with charisma and charm but knowing you, yeah, you did it. Very sublty yet in your face, ya know?

    mmmmm...thats just good stuff maynard. Will there be a round two? Hee-hee. Have a good one and keep...ummm...smilin' (Sorry, got sidetracked, read it again before that sentence, HA!
    | Posted on 2005-10-05 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]


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