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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: When lost hearts convergedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Teboho Mochaoa
    ASL Info:    21/M/Lesotho
    Elite Ratio:    4.37 - 37/48/11
    Words: 68
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 884
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 490



    Description:
       This is a poem which describes when two people meet and fall in love. It depicts true love between them.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhen lost hearts convergedots
    -------------------------------------------


    When lost hearts converge,
    Visible are its desires eruptions
    And its vigorous passions emerge
    To awaken their dead pulsations.

    From their roots, its rhythm bleed
    Smashing heartless illusions,
    And fears, from their path, recede
    Showing its true visions.

    In the humble breeze of ecstasy,
    They no longer feel the thorns of pain;
    Only its gracious storm they see,
    It is true love that falls like rain.




    Submitted on 2005-10-06 06:31:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow. You managed to protray so much with a nice short poem. The images it created to me as a reader were vivid.

    In the humble breeze of ecstasy,
    They no longer feel the thorns of pain;
    Only its gracious storm they see,
    It is true love that falls like rain.'

    I think that was my fav! I love the word play here. Seems I'll have to take myself to your page and see what else you have to read. Think it will be well worth my time! Lookin' forward to more of your work!
    | Posted on 2006-02-22 00:00:00 | by nicklacymatthew | [ Reply to This ]
      Okay, I like the first stanza the best. And it's vigorous passions emerge to awaken their dead pulsations, lost hearts converging. I'm not a great writer, and feel totally elementary when I look at this. I'm here mostly to learn, and maybe hone my craft a bit in the process. I seriously want to add this to my favorites, but I'm still fumbling with that section. I almost can't wait to read the rest of your stuff. Take care, I'm watching. This is fantastic!
    Toby
    | Posted on 2006-02-13 00:00:00 | by afterglow | [ Reply to This ]
      Oooh wow this is a powerful piece...Its crafted with so much passion, not to mention the powerful emotions it evoked on me...Your use of imagery is really incredible...You serinaded us with your fine diction and beautiful thoughts..I got to say this was a meticulously crafted write...I throroughly enjoyed this one...Very inspiring...This was my fav verse: "From their roots, its rhythm bleed
    Smashing heartless illusions,
    And fears, from their path, recede
    Showing its true visions."..Nevertheless, the intire piece is captivating...Marvelous write.I am such a fanatic for poems attributed to love...this is a definate masterpiece, you did not force the piece to gell and that is a skilll possesed by a talented artist.Thank you for sharing..Be happy..Nobantu
    | Posted on 2005-10-29 00:00:00 | by Nobantu | [ Reply to This ]
      
    'When lost hearts converge,
    Visible are its desires eruptions
    And its vigorous passions emerge
    To awaken their dead pulsations.

    From their roots, its rhythm bleed
    Smashing heartless illusions,
    And fears, from their path, recede
    Showing its true visions.

    In the humble breeze of ecstasy,
    They no longer feel the thorns of pain;
    Only its gracious storm they see,
    It is true love that falls like rain.'

    My! My. That last line just sent me reeling.... Be sure to continue here - I am thoroughly enjoying the experience of your poetry.
    | Posted on 2005-10-21 00:00:00 | by CrypticBard | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi Teboho,
    Gosh, I was so taken a-back by the fortitude of this poem, that I only noticed blatant technique like rhyme on the second observation! You managed to convery very powerful emotion in such a simple way, and that takes a lot of skill.
    I'm glad you've joined Elite Skills, as I can tell there will be some great writings to follow this wonderful piece!
    Best Wishes
    NM
    | Posted on 2005-10-20 00:00:00 | by Natalia Murray | [ Reply to This ]
      Welcome to Elite Skills!
    The allusions and imagery here were stunning, and made it powerful beyond belief. It's amazing how you literally depict emotion like that.
    Great write.
    Tekin Kashami
    | Posted on 2005-10-20 00:00:00 | by Tekin_Kashami | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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