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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: and yet...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Namlooc20
    ASL Info:    26/Male/Spokane, WA
    Elite Ratio:    4.2 - 359/327/107
    Words: 108
    Class/Type: Poetry/Broken
    Total Views: 741
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 751



    Description:
       This is about how I am even afraid of myself and friends sometimes... I jsut want to be alone and they don't respect that... so yeah... I wrote this in class, so it's not that great... I might revise it later... I'll have to think about it... oh yeah and don't go out and say how bad it is because I already know how bad it is...

    THNX

    - Nammy


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsand yet...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Friends kill the heart
    still shatter in my soul
    lying in the gutter of 12th street
    now no one feels woe
    six daggers thorwn threw me
    and the last my best friend's
    you say "it backstabbing"
    but I've already been shot in the head

    Brains spilled in the center
    of the old cobble street
    realizing I'm still alive
    I slowly rise

    no wound and fine
    with six dead bodies
    (each with a dagger)
    and as the clean road weaps
    for the dead bodies he knew
    my other self slowly claims victory as well...

    (I am weak...
    Body strong...
    Soul shattered...
    and yet I still live...)




    Submitted on 2005-10-06 11:46:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i like it, i like it a lot. it depicts well how your friends turning on you makes you feel wortless and dead, but then you realize that you aren't dead. them turning on you only makes you stronger, and because of thier betrayal they themselves become dead to you!

    as far as your comments about how you like to stay in and they don't understand...i completely do! i'm one of those people who every once and a while likes to stay home, get to bed early, and just have a relaxing night alone to think!

    great write, looking foward to more!

    ~smlaw
    | Posted on 2005-10-06 00:00:00 | by smlaw | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't understand how this has anything to do with your friends, and as one of them, I feel insulted that you'd write something of such graphic explicity.
    I'm half kidding.
    But really.
    What the hell does this mean?
    | Posted on 2005-10-06 00:00:00 | by Mieko | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm with wildchild, I'm so lost on the real meaning of this. In actuality, this confused me some.

    I think you did a wonderful job with the imagry, so much caos goin on in one street. Death, distruction, people turning their backs to loved ones.

    Nicely done. I think this is a nice piece on betrail...that the word I've been searching for.. keep writing.

    ~Rain
    | Posted on 2005-10-06 00:00:00 | by Rain | [ Reply to This ]
      whoa.
    you know, i'm not going to even pretend to understand this because i know i'm just an idiot standing on the outside of the real thing. i still like it though, so stark and depressing... it's a good portrait of what goes on inside.

    i really love how you talk about backstabbing even though it serves no purpose as your brains are already on the pavement. *laughs* some people worry about the smallest papercuts of others and never see their own disembowled gut. (and some are only too aware of it)

    i'm sorry if that's not what you meant to portray but that's just what i get from it. wonderful write,

    -the wildchild
    | Posted on 2005-10-06 00:00:00 | by wildchild | [ Reply to This ]


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