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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Without A Scardots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: miss__smiles
    ASL Info:    16/f/Soo, Ont
    Elite Ratio:    3.28 - 117/110/20
    Words: 157
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 886
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 964



    Description:
       I just wrote this, after telling someone I would try and write my usual, happy-go-lucky stuff!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWithout A Scardots
    -------------------------------------------


    I used to put on a mask
    And act like everything's fine
    But I laid my mask down
    When I was pushed past that line.
    But I've come to terms with pain
    I'm strong enough to deal with it
    I turn it into expierence
    So I can learn from it.
    We live off pain
    We need it to grow
    To learn from our anger
    To overcome our sorrow.
    I've taken my pain
    I've used it, then put it away
    All in a little metal box
    Where it will always stay.
    I've advanced from my pain
    Changed it, and grown
    The open wounds it has caused
    Are as good as newly sewn.
    The open wounds unviled
    The ones caused from your pain
    Are later used to teach you
    So you really stand to gain.
    We all need pain and suffering
    It makes us who we are
    After all, what would life be
    If we died without a scar?




    Submitted on 2005-10-06 11:47:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      After all, what would life be
    If we died without a scar?

    i like dat line
    i use my pain 2 do better at whtevr i do

    Darkness of the Grim Draco
    | Posted on 2005-10-11 00:00:00 | by darkness | [ Reply to This ]
      I think this cheered me up a bit.

    "We all need pain and suffering
    It makes us who we are
    After all, what would life be
    If we died without a scar?"

    My favourite part. Rather inspirational to someone like me, especially because I know you're writing this from experience. I think the poem becomes better as it progresses, in the beginning it was a little rocky- the flow wasn't quite there. I also think you should put it into stanzas as it's easier to read that way.
    Laura-Grace
    | Posted on 2005-10-07 00:00:00 | by dark-red-pain | [ Reply to This ]
      "We all need pain and suffering
    It makes us who we are
    After all, what would life be
    If we died without a scar?"

    That is great. ...Definitely my favorite part, even though I really like the whole thing. I love the positiveness (new word). I usually dont, but this was different. It reminds me of what I once heard someone say: "If everything was perfect, then what would we learn?" Yup. Anywho, Ive got nothing but compliments for you. Great job

    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2005-10-06 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      great point. pain is an experience, and experiences make us who we are. even though it is a little dark, i think that in a way it is a happy poem, because to me, the growth of yourself as a person is a good thing and something to be celebrated!

    one of my favorite lines in the poem is the very start of it:

    "I used to put on a mask
    And act like everything's fine
    But I laid my mask down
    When I was pushed past that line. "

    this really spoke to me, because i have always felt like i have to wear a mask with people and be who they want me to be, but very recently i myself was pushed past that line and now just don't hold back and am who i am, and if someone doesn't like it...tough!

    great write, it was thoroughly enjoyed.

    ~smlaw
    | Posted on 2005-10-06 00:00:00 | by smlaw | [ Reply to This ]
      wow, you are so right! I look at all the pain I've had in my life...and all the tears that I've cried..and it's like..I don't regret it..it's made me who I am today...it's made me better..it's made me stronger. Pain can be used as fuel...to move on...to better things...and ya that pain usually leaves a scar..but scars are the best kind of reminder. of maybe what we did in wrong in life...and we know not to make the same mistakes twice. This was just awesome. totally got me thinking. I loved it. It's a fav! ~hailie~
    | Posted on 2005-10-06 00:00:00 | by loveispain | [ Reply to This ]
      The format on this could use some revising just to make it easier to read...it seems very fast paced in some spots then completely slows down. there was also some repetition that could be eliminated (such as repeating the pain)

    but the last line...that was one hell of a "one liner"! in fact it is the whole reason why I decided to comment...I think this post has huge potential and could really be on many a fav list if you just touch it up a bit...

    good luck ;)

    T
    | Posted on 2005-10-06 00:00:00 | by Brownsdelight | [ Reply to This ]
      a very well written piece
    i for one have used all the pain in my life as a positive to help me learn and grow
    however there is a very fine line
    you have to be careful how much pain you let in as sometimes it can be overpowering
    my favorite line was
    the open wounds it has caused
    are as good as newly sewn

    that reflects what happenend to me perfectly

    Take Care
    keep in touch
    | Posted on 2005-10-06 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a beautiful piece and I believe I am going to add it to my favorites... it kinda reminds me of something I've written before.

    -anyways, about your piece, i think it's wonderful. it does a nice job portraying everything in a person's mind and helps explain that even though we despise pain, it helps us grow and is the only way that we can become better for it.

    oh, and in regards to your description. you shouldn't write what people tell you to. Truly beautiful and touching pieces, be they happy or depressing, come from your heart... and no one should be able to tell you what you're meant to feel.

    keep it up!

    -the wildchild
    | Posted on 2005-10-06 00:00:00 | by wildchild | [ Reply to This ]


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    76728

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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