Description: This poem doesn't really rhyme... and may not "flow" like most normal poems, but that's ok! I'm open for suggestions... this isn't a final. This poem is about how most people judge people... and I think it's easy to understand when you read it.
heh, a nice write indeed. was just going back on your comments and reading what they all said in response, but no suggestions??? *frowns*.
well shep here's one, i wouldve liked to see this more in the form of prose, with emphatical capitalization in the dire parts, and reworded just a bit as to be in format for oral reading, because this piece holds a power all its own.
i enjoyed the archaic employment in the beginning, wish it wouldve been kept consistent throughout.
btu my opinion doesn't matter on this one, everyone else has pretty much iterated and reiterated what i wouldve said anyway .
merry meet and blessed be keep on writing.
funny, i never knew the reason i write is so that others might flourish or learn thru me...never found the reason, but maybe that can be a start . *encores for jeremy* keep in touch *whispers to himself as well*
well what we see is definately not what others see--thank god. We tend to be hard on ourselves. Myself especially though sometimes not enough....Thois is interesting shep--O must say pretty deep for a young guy like yourself. And the wording is good--few typos but its ok... What is seen is never the whole shi-bang--if ya know what I mean? Lamemansterms
you said it didn't make sense, but it made perfect sense to me, peopple can be cruel, and blind they don't see more than they want to see, because they don't want to know that there's people out there who are kinder than they are, but their are a few who look past the outside and try to see the inside, those are the truely kind people...this was a great peice and it's going on my favs. great job.
well written, it has inspired a little thought of my own which I posted as 'to play pretend'... why did you italicize "it" in your poem, what is it, and what does it have to do with society? take care, shalini