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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Mirrordots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: shepj
    Elite Ratio:    3.35 - 17/25/5
    Words: 113
    Class/Type: Poetry/Society
    Total Views: 916
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 659



    Description:
       This poem doesn't really rhyme... and may not "flow" like most normal poems, but that's ok! I'm open for suggestions... this isn't a final. This poem is about how most people judge people... and I think it's easy to understand when you read it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMirrordots
    -------------------------------------------


    You only see the tears 'pon your cheek as you look through eyes that see no further than the skin.

    You are strong, though through these eyes... ruined makeup. By the days come and gone it still knows no name... only a face, greeted daily.

    As we know you for who you are... it cares nothing more than looks. You live you life by it... but it would never remember you.

    Time is wasted being who you are not only for these eyes... for we know you are more than looks! live your life as you , instead of through a mirror.




    Submitted on 2005-10-06 19:16:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      heh, a nice write indeed. was just going back on your comments and reading what they all said in response, but no suggestions??? *frowns*.

    well shep here's one, i wouldve liked to see this more in the form of prose, with emphatical capitalization in the dire parts, and reworded just a bit as to be in format for oral reading, because this piece holds a power all its own.

    i enjoyed the archaic employment in the beginning, wish it wouldve been kept consistent throughout.

    btu my opinion doesn't matter on this one, everyone else has pretty much iterated and reiterated what i wouldve said anyway .

    merry meet and blessed be keep on writing.

    funny, i never knew the reason i write is so that others might flourish or learn thru me...never found the reason, but maybe that can be a start . *encores for jeremy* keep in touch *whispers to himself as well*

    Loquacious Mind
    | Posted on 2006-08-12 00:00:00 | by Loquacious Mind | [ Reply to This ]
      well what we see is definately not what others see--thank god. We tend to be hard on ourselves. Myself especially though sometimes not enough....Thois is interesting shep--O must say pretty deep for a young guy like yourself. And the wording is good--few typos but its ok... What is seen is never the whole shi-bang--if ya know what I mean?
    Lamemansterms
    | Posted on 2005-12-09 00:00:00 | by LameMansTerms | [ Reply to This ]
      you said it didn't make sense, but it made perfect sense to me, peopple can be cruel, and blind they don't see more than they want to see, because they don't want to know that there's people out there who are kinder than they are, but their are a few who look past the outside and try to see the inside, those are the truely kind people...this was a great peice and it's going on my favs. great job.
    | Posted on 2005-10-14 00:00:00 | by camoflage | [ Reply to This ]
      It made sense to me. It was good and there is a sound message for all within your poem - well done. As you say, books are meant to be read - not just looked at !
    | Posted on 2005-10-07 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      well written, it has inspired a little thought of my own which I posted as 'to play pretend'... why did you italicize "it" in your poem, what is it, and what does it have to do with society? take care, shalini
    | Posted on 2005-10-06 00:00:00 | by sbridges | [ Reply to This ]


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    76775

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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