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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Roses Are Reddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: miss__smiles
    ASL Info:    16/f/Soo, Ont
    Elite Ratio:    3.28 - 117/110/20
    Words: 102
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Misc
    Total Views: 774
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 790



    Description:
       Give me your thoughts


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRoses Are Reddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Roses are red
    Like the color
    Of the glossy
    Lipstick
    You wear
    On your luscious lips.
    Like the fiery
    Color of
    Your hair
    And their tips.
    Like the color
    of your blood
    As it pours
    Out from your arm.
    Like the firey
    Cozy blanket
    Thatís kept you
    Warm.
    But:
    Your lips are
    Now glossed
    In a charcoal
    Black.
    Your fiery
    Red hair
    Is darker
    Than that.
    Your blood
    Now bleeds
    As black
    As night.
    And your cozy
    Red blanket
    Is no longer
    In site.
    Youíve changed
    And won't
    Look back
    Roses are red
    But this one
    Is black.




    Submitted on 2005-10-06 20:39:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      great job here ... it flaws well.. i love it .. and the change in the middle of the writing gave me the reason to put it on my favorite list i lov e.. it .. very choice of words...
    ilove it
    great job !
    peace and love and keep on writng
    take care!
    victor!
    | Posted on 2006-01-05 00:00:00 | by vitoko | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey,

    I just checked on of my friend's profile and she got this piece as her favs so i was just curious on what it was about.

    To me when i read the title two things came to mind; Aqua song and the saying "roses are red and violets are blue"

    Your piece was particularly captivating and twisting although we would of known something like this was going to happen but still the way you put it and the made it flow throughout was great. I really enjoyed reading it line after line.

    I don't really agree with your blood bleeds as black as night. I was thinking more after the blood has dripped it usually starts decaying and then it turns black but other than that...the only time i think people use blood as black is to symbolize this impurity in that person dripping out for the world to see what is inside that person. Just a thought.

    Still great write...It really amazed me and i enjoyed it.

    Take care...Irina
    | Posted on 2005-10-24 00:00:00 | by charmedidentity | [ Reply to This ]
      Whoa, I love your poem. It flows very well. your word didn't sound forced at all, like Epiphany said, and everything fit together. Great job.
    | Posted on 2005-10-12 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]
      This was very unique and succinct in presentation - the rhyming wasn't difficult and didn't sound forced and you tied the first part with the ending well and it was a good write!

    Love,Peace,Joy! tif
    | Posted on 2005-10-12 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      I am definately drawn to this piece. I am guessing that this was a piece about someone who wasa cutter and what types of things they enjoyed and now they are dead from the last time they sliced the skin and now all of mourning is what is left. I am thinking though that this person turned to hate only and they will not change the morbid inside of their soul... I myself think that the last lines just wish that I wish I knew the true emotions of this piece and maybe this was a close friend and now you two are friends no longer...
    "Youíve changed
    And won't
    Look back
    Roses are red
    But this one
    Is black."
    I can relate to this piece towards a friend of mind... but is now 6 feet under the ground... well actually she was cremated... but anyways... I know that the pain is hard to bear with. Did this person turn goth/satanist... or are they dead? because this piece can go either way...
    Overall fantastic piece... Definately a Favorite...

    take care
    Jesi
    | Posted on 2005-10-08 00:00:00 | by slntfirflm | [ Reply to This ]
      great work the change over is what i think made it even better it wasnt like the old nursery rhyme that i remember which was good
    as that one was bad
    anyways great thought
    sandman
    | Posted on 2005-10-07 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      How is it that 7 people viewed this and only 1 commented? I thought this was an excellent piece. At first sight with the short sentences and how it started off with "roses are red", I thought this was gonna be a simple- minded poem. But this one took some work and I commend you on it. Keep it up oh talented one.
    | Posted on 2005-10-07 00:00:00 | by Jessa | [ Reply to This ]
      This is great, you got kinda the same feel as my writing "When A Red Rose Turns Black" so i can relate,
    Youíve changed
    And won't
    Look back
    Roses are red
    But this one
    Is black.
    This is my fav. line b/c it kinda says the way i feel sometimes, good write i hope i get to read more from you
    | Posted on 2005-10-06 00:00:00 | by withblindedeyez | [ Reply to This ]


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