Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Overture 2004dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Dipsomniac
    Elite Ratio:    3.47 - 59/70/18
    Words: 96
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 765
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 621



    Description:
       About a low point in my life last year.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOverture 2004dots
    -------------------------------------------



    Seeing the world from above
    Is not seeing it all

    From the bottom of the well
    The sky is a ring
    And outside, freedom will sing
    While down in the earth you cry out

    "Save me! Stretch out your arm
    And release me from my madness!"

    From the bottom of a bottle
    The world is all double
    And within grows trouble
    While lost in hell you cry out

    "Save me! Stretch out your arm
    And release me from this madness!"

    Seeing the world from above
    Is not seeing it all




    Submitted on 2005-10-06 20:49:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      hey alan
    this is so good..its short, simple, and to the point...it doesnt take the reader around in circles, but its straight foward..the feeling of being at the bottom of the well, not cool..when u talk about the bottom of a bottle are u talkin abt getting drunk and stuff? i like the repetition of those two lines, "save me!", it emphasizes it...just wanted to stop by and say good job :)..
    cheers, get better,
    Deeps
    | Posted on 2005-10-08 00:00:00 | by DeepsLighter | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a good poem. In fact, one of the better I have resd in a while on this site. Your rhyme scheme is clever and well implemented.

    The following lines are really good:
    "
    From the bottom of the well
    The sky is a ring
    And outside, freedom will sing
    "
    | Posted on 2005-10-07 00:00:00 | by adamastor | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    76787

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry