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Daddy's Little Girl


Author: Sweet as Sugar
ASL Info:    17/F/WY
Elite Ratio:    3.7 - 43 /50 /13
Words: 58
Class/Type: Poetry /
Total Views: 739
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 450



Description:


Overall I like this poem because it is... its me. So I hope you like it. Thanks for reading and as always please be gentle. Oh and I couldn't think of a better word for reach that sounded good so I hope it doesn't sound out of place

Okay If anyone is wondering what this poem means to me here is your explanation. I have never actually met my father and I always have these pent up emotions like I just want to scream in front to people so they know that I'm alone.


Daddy's Little Girl



Daddy's little girl
Never was
Never will

Urge to tell
Need to say
Stop some stranger
Yell his name

Left me here
Without a word
Stranded here
without a hope

To be free
To break loose
All I wanted
Far from reach

Daddy's little girl
Never was
Never will
Never Daddy's little girl




Submitted on 2005-10-06 22:08:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  first two stanzas were gripping and flawless! You did lose a bit of the flow throughout this piece however given the emotional set that is completely understandable...I know that when I write something in that moment of emotion it come out choppy as well...

Daddy's little girl
never was never will...

such haunting lines...

Keep your head up...there is a reason for everything in life..even if that reason is beyond our understanding...
| Posted on 2005-10-20 00:00:00 | by Brownsdelight | [ Reply to This ]
  i thought the 'reach' sounded ok. you poured a lot of personal emotion into this poem, i like that. when you feel so strongely about something, it is easy to write about it, isn't it? the words flowed smoothly, and overall you did a pretty good job. i hope to read more from you in the near future...keep writing.
| Posted on 2005-10-07 00:00:00 | by Sweets | [ Reply to This ]
  The impressions I get from this poem including a sense of rebellion particularly since the father is the main authority figure in children's lives. I also sensed a deep hurt flowing through the poem, like it was giving you the voice you wanted. Overall the poem could have done with some lengthening and a little more description, and I personally wasn't overjoyed by the flow of it but I don't know about anyone else.
| Posted on 2005-10-07 00:00:00 | by Cat | [ Reply to This ]
  a lot of room for interpatation here.since it was short=it was enjoyable to reed,but left me wondering=help me to see


cool

toyysruss
| Posted on 2005-10-06 00:00:00 | by toyysruss | [ Reply to This ]
  interesting. i don't know you, but i think if i did i would understand this better. i still think that its a great poem and says a lot. keep your chin up!

~smlaw
| Posted on 2005-10-06 00:00:00 | by smlaw | [ Reply to This ]


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