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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: After lovedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Brownsdelight
    ASL Info:    25/F/NUEVO MEXICO
    Elite Ratio:    4.43 - 1251/1055/115
    Words: 107
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1608
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 685



    Description:
       I was look for an image that would suit this post and I stubbled across this one..I chose it because it represents the stripped feeling one feels when love is taken away....I also thought she had a look of anger or bitterness in her expression and for those of you who are close to me you know that has been my mind set the past month or two......

    I'm not that happy with this flow but I'm just happy to be writing again..suggestions are welcomed :)

    Tink.

    ps...I can not think of a title ...any suggestions?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAfter lovedots
    -------------------------------------------


    A page has turned, a chapter ended
    The time has come for letting go.
    Wipe the tears, paint on a smile
    Hide the pain that seems to grow.

    Keep the memories, yet forget the love
    For now that is part of the past.
    Do not search for fault in self
    Remember nothing golden is meant to last.

    Broken hearts do not exist
    Itís the soul that burdens pain
    Though it may try to convince you other wise
    You will find companionship again.

    Eyes wide open, regaining sight
    Of what life should truly be.
    Happiness is not created by others,
    But something self achieves.




    Submitted on 2005-10-07 10:35:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      You word choice was excellent by the way. I love the mood of this pice and how it portrays certain events one must face in order to move on with their life. The last two lines are my favorite however, the whole thing was amazing.
    | Posted on 2006-03-31 00:00:00 | by Spiderman | [ Reply to This ]
      YEAY!

    good to see you back in the saddle! i know its been here for a while, but again i am a little slow! :P

    anyways i especially liked how you touched on the nothing gold can stay! i love that line. it does let us know that some things are temporary and we must enjoy them at the moment as we dont know how long we have them. which is also true for life and love. i adore seeing your inner strength and here you are showing that nicely! '

    way to go sis!

    -Niks
    | Posted on 2005-11-02 00:00:00 | by stolie77 | [ Reply to This ]
      Very beautiful.

    The chord that strikes most in me from this poem is the line.

    "Nothing gold is meant to last."

    I was a deep fan of The Outsiders as well as Robert Frost's 'Nothing Gold Can Stay'. The line forever stirs memories in me of such literature and I think that particular line brings it most to the fore for me.

    Splendid poem.
    | Posted on 2005-10-19 00:00:00 | by CynicalxDreamer | [ Reply to This ]
      uh huh, uh huh, uh huh uh huh uh huh!
    nice...
    well dammit you've done it again!
    great words, great imagery, wonderful communicating of your ideas...
    just plain ol' freakin awesome poetry!
    daddy like.
    | Posted on 2005-10-17 00:00:00 | by treybur | [ Reply to This ]
      very, very insightful. this line particularly stood out to me:

    "Remember nothing golden is meant to last."

    maybe cuz i don't wanna believe that (and you know why!) buuuuuuuut, you did a great job as always, and remind me of this quote i once found by john lithgow.

    "Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain." (not saying that everything else that you write isn't great... ah, you get what i'm saying!) i think the title is fine, and i love the picture. great job once again. ...bb...

    XoXo
    ~Tayla~
    | Posted on 2005-10-12 00:00:00 | by Phoenix2004 | [ Reply to This ]
      Keep the memories, yet forget the love
    For now that is part of the past.

    If you've figured out how to do this, please let me in on it! This is a beautiful line. Can you ever truly forget love, though? Especially when you are still in it?

    I still work in the same place as my ex. He came in the lab last night, wanting me to doctor his cut finger again cause I was the one who caused him to cut it. I did so, in front of my buddy and one of the foreman, who both know how much I still love him. He left when I was done, and Willie (the foreman), just looks at me and says, "you two are still in love with each other." I say, yes, I'm in love with him, but he could care less about me. Willie says, "No, he still loves you. He's just gotten himself into a situation where he can't get out and have what he really wants." And Willie has seen a lot. But one wonders, can you really tell that two people are in love by such a brief interaction? I'm sorry I took this time to ramble, but your work just wraps its hands around my heart and squeezes ever so tightly. It's just so beautiful.
    | Posted on 2005-10-12 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
      yes, there is life after love... altho it is hard to imagine that when in the midst of heartache. you are so right that happiness cannot come from others, it has to come from within. it is an inside job..

    very insightful write about love and its loss...

    peace,
    ~Cat
    | Posted on 2005-10-09 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this, it tells a true story and ends with a great message. It would make a great teenage anthem, and should be force-fed to every forteen year old.

    Yep, a flow problem or two, but not too shabby at all. A title? how about: "The Heart Never Breaks"
    (I was never good with titles)

    Nicely done, I liked it lots.

    Be Happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-10-07 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmm.. the ending was a little sketchy, just thought you could've ended it a little more.. BANG-like, considering the rest of the piece was more intriging liek that. But over all i liked it, and did think the picture felt it well.
    | Posted on 2005-10-07 00:00:00 | by Lova_Star | [ Reply to This ]
      i, too, agree the picture didn't seem to fit in with the poem. the picture seemed more about vulnerability and the poem seemed to be about empowerment. well, that's my take on it, but you are the writer :-)

    layla
    | Posted on 2005-10-07 00:00:00 | by colagirl | [ Reply to This ]
      the phote to me says that she has just lost her virginity to someone she loves and he either left her afterwards or told her he didnt love her back. it goes well with the poem. at the end...you ending on a happier note i think says that life isnt always easy but if you believe that things can get better they will. i personally believe that everything happens for a reason...you know...fate. good poem, you seem to have a great talent. i hope to read more from you.
    | Posted on 2005-10-07 00:00:00 | by Sweets | [ Reply to This ]
      I loved the last two lines...very true ma dear.

    I liked the photo too, but it doesnt seem to fit with the ending of it. It ends on such a positive but the photo still reflects a negative tone, ya know? But maybe thats why it works as well. I dunno I am beginning to confuse myself.

    The first line was grrrrrrrr8! As well. A powerful beginning and ending here and the stuff in the middle accentuated that. Good job ghetto ballarina! Have a good one and keep smilin'
    | Posted on 2005-10-07 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      This may ramble, but I have to say this...

    You hit something very personal here for me and today I spent the day with my ex. It was supposed to be a "hi, how are you" quick lil meet simply to clear some air and turned into an all day event - a very nice day with a friend.

    I read this and felt as if you were describing some of the many emotions I went through today.

    This was well written, very well said and d*amn, the second stanza was just fantastic
    And the last 2 lines are very real - the heart of the matter

    And the title works quite well for me, because I can honestly say...after love...there is still life

    Nice one Tina (the ghetto ballerina)
    Lisa
    | Posted on 2005-10-08 00:00:00 | by ravenwolf68 | [ Reply to This ]


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